Some friends are for a season, some for a reason, and others for a lifetime.
I’m not sure where I picked this up. I want to say a teacher along the line. It’s seemed to hold water throughout my experience of friendships, and it undoubtedly stuck in my head. The concept was helpful for reconciling my disconnection with friends who have been particularly close in other “seasons” that seem so distant today.
My natural instinct has been to say between reason, season, and lifetime, that lifetime must be the ideal, right? With a dear friend, who would want that season to end? But seasons in my life like high school or college, you know, the “good ol’ days,” were special. And that team at work who tackled that serious challenge or the small group who truly cared for each other in a sweet Christ-like way. Those friend groups have been paramount in my life. I am who I am today because of those different seasons. Although I hardly see those friends anymore, we do have the joy of picking up right where we left off when we do get to catch up.
What about reasons? When you look back over the friendships that have shaped your life, do you also have those people who, for better or worse, taught you something? From the mentor who imparted wisdom and the coach who imparted courage, to the neighbor who taught you sharing or the difficult person who taught you long-suffering, we’ve had people in and out of our lives that seem to encapsulate a particular lesson.
Finally, there are those relationships that last a lifetime. The soul-connected friendship of a close friend like that described in John 15:13. The committed covenant relationship vowed in marriage. The unwavering love of a parent that doesn’t wane, no matter the age of their kids.
However, while relationships can add meaning to our lives, they can also be a source of heartache.
Perhaps one thing that can be so painful is the end of some relationships— especially when they don’t match the intended purpose. In particular, the relationships that are fundamentally intended to be life-long. The early death of a partner or parent. Divorce. Siblings cutting off from family. For those assumed longterm relationships, when incongruent or cut short, the pain is substantially deeper. Albeit from either conflict, brokenness or disaster.
This brings me to Jesus. Jesus’s abiding spirit is not seasonal. And while we have lessons we learn; His love, commitment and connection is forever. The book of Matthew ends with Jesus’s final words before ascending, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Mt 28:20)
Any other relationship will have an end. Jesus’s commitment to us is that he’ll never leave. That he’ll never give up on us. That nothing can ever separate us from His love. And this is good news.
About the Author
Mike is currently serving as CitySalt's Transition Pastor during this unique season of our church. Mike is married to Britni D'Eliso and together they have two awesome elementary school-aged children. He loves working in his garden and connecting with people over coffee. One of his greatest joys in pastoring is helping others discover the fullness that God has for them through His Scriptures and His Spirit.