The phrase “speak the truth in love” may come from Ephesians 4, but when I reflect on it, I think of a song based on 1 Corinthians chapter 13 instead. This song, Charity, has helped me keep my priorities straight as a teacher for 19 years. Now that I have a family of my own, it is even more necessary for me to remember. Consider these lyrics (and feel free to listen to the original song posted below):
CHARITY *
Although I speak with tongues of men and of angels
And though I prophesy and understand all
Although I have all faith so mountains may be removed
And though I feed the poor and give up my life
If I have not Charity
If Love does not flow from me
I am nothing
Jesus reduce me to Love
Love is patient and kind, love is not envious
Not proud, but gentle and meek, seeks not its own way
Love sings when Jesus prevails, believes and endures all things
Love hopes and bears every wrong
And Love never fails
One season I was a child, I spoke and I thought as a child
But when I turned into a man, such ways put aside
Though now we see through a glass, yet then we shall see face to face
Though now abide faith and hope
The greatest is Love
What do you think of when you hear the word “charity?” Do you think of someone giving money to the poor? That’s part of it, but not what the word originally meant. According to Wikipedia, it came into use in late Old English times as a word meaning “Christian love of one’s fellows” based on the Old French word charité. Going back even farther, it came from the Latin word caritas which was used to translate the Greek word agape (godly love).
This song (and the passage it’s based on) reminds me that regardless of what I do, if I’m not doing it from the motivation of love, it’s not helping. In fact, it can even harm people. When I correct or discipline someone but forget to consider their current emotional needs, it can cause them to feel devalued. I may think I’m helping them, but I’m really not, as teachers and parents have found out the hard way. The same goes for other things, like what we usually think of as charity. I may think I’m helping someone or making a difference in the world by donating money or time, but if it’s not something that will actually help them and done from a heart of love, it’s just self-seeking. A clanging gong to puff myself up or assuage guilt. Speaking (or giving) truth, but not love.
So how do I remember to speak (or give) truth in love? I’m not great at it. But I catch myself sometimes and actually think of the chorus to the song. “If I have not charity, if love does not flow through me, I am nothing; Jesus reduce me to love.” This song-prayer fills me with the agape love that I can’t possibly have on my own because it comes from God. Then I act/react to the person I’m talking to by speaking truth in love.
And truth spoken in love usually leads to better results, and more importantly, better relationships. Because love never fails.
*Kenneth Gulliksen
© 1971 CCCM Music (Admin. by Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc.)
Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publishing (Admin. by Brentwood-Benson Music Publishing, Inc.)
About the Author
Jessie is a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a blog about travel and the journeys of women. She is very excited to be a part of the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her sweet husband, Chris, their 5 funny kids, and 1 fluffy cat in Springfield. She loves hiking and other outdoor and indoor adventures with her family.