I grew up in a church. I believe it was Episcopalian. I remember being fascinated by the ceremony: the standing and singing hymns; the reading for the Book of Common Prayer; the kneeling to pray to God; going to the altar to receive the sacrament of bread and wine.
I also remember often drowsing in my pew and my mother nudging me awake. I remember getting up early on a Sunday and going with just my mother as my brother and father had stopped going to church. Eventually, I convinced my mother that I didn't want to go either and so I stopped and eventually she did, too. This was not out of some sense of despair or betrayal by the church or God, it was simply one less chore or time when I didn't have to get up early.
I realize now that what I lacked was a connection to the church and the parishioners. I was missing the point of Jesus' message: We are all in this together. We can support one another and are invited to do so by God Himself by allowing Jesus into our hearts. Let me say that again: allowing Jesus into our hearts. God, as a loving and caring parent, gives us the choice, as my mom did, to not do things. To not go to church. To not invite Jesus into our heart.
When I met my wife in college, years later, I met a caring, inviting, sweet soul who wanted to share with me her love of Jesus and all the gifts that came with. I chose to attend church with her and take another look at the religion that I had drifted away from in my youth. I went to church and spoke to pastors. I picked up a new bible. I read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. I realized that there is a God who loves me and forgives me and invites me to join Him in Heaven. He has sent his Son Jesus to make this invitation personal, and He has sent His Holy Spirit to reside in me and guide me on my journey through this life. And He let me know that His invitation is open: that it is my choice.
My personal revelation (as well as revolution) came upon the realization that God loves me and, like John, I try to embrace that I am "the disciple that Jesus loved." That He has chosen me so that I can now choose Him--that I might learn more from Him and grow in my heart according to His ways and His love toward His people.
About the Author
Mark lives in Oregon with his lovely wife, Darla and enjoys reading, writing, playing games and working to make the world a better place. He currently serves CitySalt church as a sound engineer and on the church council.