"Getting to Know God" by Terry Sheldon

I am titling this Getting to Know God with purpose, not just because it fits, but because I want to bounce off the cliché essence of the phrase, in our Christian circles. Yes, we serve a relational God, and in my experience, that's what it's all about.

As my long suffering wife knows, I am not so much a "rule follower" by nature. Not that I don't try to adhere to essential edicts that keep me (and us) safe and smart with what God has given us to steward, but let's just say I tend to be, ahem, "creative" at finding ways to apply them. "Whatever Terry,” I hear Colby saying somewhere behind me.

For me, I have a hard time buying into a rigid religious system. A REALLY hard time. Typically, it has produced cynicism, frustration, loneliness, and a separation from the heart of God. I can honestly say it's only been the last several years that I've finally come to realize, in my heart of hearts, that God truly LOVES me. Not in the biblical "Christian Code of Conduct" sense, but one on one, father to son, friend to friend.

Why did it take me so long to open up to him? I'm not sure. Yes we all have on blinders, at many, many points along our spiritual journeys. But for someone who has grown up on this road of faith, I would have thought I'd arrive here many years ago. Sometimes I am a bit ashamed, quite frankly, that it's taken me so long.

About 6 years ago I found myself trying to enter in during a worship time at CitySalt. I just couldn't. No words, no melody, just quiet tears. This scenario lasted for months. I remembered back to so many instances before that when I viewed worship as kind of emotional fluff. Ya ya, let's move on and get to the real MEAT of the service. Pastor, give me something good here. My attempts at worship seemed forced. The emotional gap between me and God seemed vast, and in retrospect, emotional closeness to God through worship was painful. Thinking holy thoughts about God through theology was easy. We gravitate towards easy, don't we?

A portion of all this (yes too much) was tied to my circumstances, and of course, that whole is-sue is a double-edged sword. I heard that God, as any father would, wanted to bless me in my personal need. But I also knew I didn't want to base my relationship to God on whether or not I achieved some sort of comfort, position, or security. That felt inauthentic, like a distant relative fighting over a deceased patriarch's will. I craved the real thing, a connection to the heart of God, regardless of my circumstances.

Getting to know God is like getting to know your spouse, or anyone in your life you deeply care about. It takes time. It takes effort. But at its core, it's about true connection. We can't know God without really KNOWING him. "Knowledge about" isn't the end game. It's knowledge plus shared acts of kindness plus forgiveness received plus history together and lessons learned. The result = getting to know the REAL God. And getting to know our true selves in the process.

"Love is Key" by Darla Beardsley

Love. What a powerful word. It makes sense that it would be, because 1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. Last Sunday in service Boby Jubberread 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 inserting God in place of the word love. It was very thought provoking concerning the nature of God. God is Love.

This morning in prayer I was wrestling with what I am doing with my and how I am spending my time. Am I doing everything God wants me to do? Should I get involv3ed with this? Should I do more of that? Am I spending too much time on this project? Another “love” scripture popped into my head, so I turned to Revelations, the second chapter and read the following:

“I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have preserved and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works.”

So God, what you’re saying is that it is possible to be busy trying to do all the right things and still miss my mark? Love is more important. This got me thinking about my motivations for doing the things that I do. Am I trying to impress God or other people with my performance or in my actions? Do I love the Lord and the people He puts in my life? Am I worried about looking worthy or is it love that drives me? Most likely, I’s a little of both.

I believe that I am only scratching the surface of what God has to teach me in all this, but I think getting to the heart of the love issue is key. What motivates me? If love is not in the answer to that question then chances are I will miss the mark. So how do I become motivated by love? By pressing into, spending time with, and receiving from He who is Love.

I love what Dusty always says, “When in doubt, default to love.

(1 Corinthians 13)

"Tattooed" by John Rice

Have you ever been, or are you currently,  in a period of life when you wonder whether the Lord sees what is going on? Whether He cares? Whether He has forgotten you? Things aren’t going well and the Lord seems far away. Maybe you feel like you are to blame for the distance between you and God, or maybe you don’t, but either way, you are not where you want to be and you wonder if you’ve fallen off of God’s “radar.”

I’ve certainly been in this position more times than I’d like to admit. And one thing I’ve learned from these experiences is that though there are many questions in life that are difficult to answer, I believe the one about whether God has forgotten you is not one of those. It is not difficult to answer. Why? Because the Bible is so clear on the subject!

When God’s people are poised to go into the Promised Land and know they will have to face many hardships to win the land, God reminds their leader, Joshua, that He will never leave them nor forsake His people. In the book of Jeremiah, when the Israelites are living in captivity in enemy territory, God declared that He was close to them and not to give up hope as they waited on deliverance by God. God even likened Himself to a nursing mother when He asked, in the book of Isaiah, “Could a mother forget the child nursing at her breast? Well, she might, but I will never forget you.”AndJesus declared that no one would be able to snatch His people from His hand (John 10:28)

One of my favorite examples of God’s faithfulness to us shows up in Isaiah 49:16: God says that He has engraved us on His hand. Now that’s an interesting thing to say! Think about it… engraved means etched which means essentially tattooed. God has tattooed us on His hand! And God’s hand is always mentioned in Scripture with reference to His strength, power, protection, provision or guidance. God is continually aware of our lives and the situations confronting us, whether they’re our fault or not (that’s not the point.) His love and power extends beyond our goodness, thanks to Jesus’ work on the Cross for us. And if this were not enough, we read in the book of Romans that both Jesus and the Holy Spirit are constantly making intercession for us before the Father. Geewhizz, can it get better than that?

Take heart if you feel God is miles away from you and doesn’t care about you and your current situation. God’s Word makes it clear that He is never far from you, no matter what your feelings are telling you, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. You are in good hands… big, beautiful tattooed hands!

Joshua 1:5  I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Jeremiah 29:10-14  This is what the Lord says, “When 70 years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity.”

Isaiah 49:14-15   But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”

John 10:28 No one will be able to snatch them (My people) out of My hands.

Isaiah 49:16 “ See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; your walls are ever before Me.”

"Thanksgiving" by Kim Phelps

I have learned a disturbing truth in my life (please, no laughing at me, some of us are slower learners!). That truth is that when things are going relatively well, or I am feeling overwhelmed, I tend to “shine” God on – either the “yeah, yeah, I got this God” or “leave me alone, I can handle it” syndrome. Then things come crashing down and I realize, often too late for a simple solution, that my not letting God in was not a great plan of action. It was really avoidance.

Recently I have been in this mode and I actually caught myself thinking “things are not chaotic, I seem to be in my comfort zone and it is actually boring, so it's ok, God I've got this.”   What brought me up short was our Sonship study this week.  It's on THANKSGIVING!  God is so faithful, so determined to continue my (and all of His children's) growth in His Spirit that He interrupted my studying and as I turned to Him in truly thanking Him, I began to see the pattern in my behavior.  I was once again “shining Him on,” avoiding His Lordship in my life. I had been involved in busy work, you know, a TV show, a book I was reading, even housework, but I was avoiding that connection with God.

I love Him so much and am so grateful that He sees me and is invested in my life, and will bring me around to where He knows I belong; physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  He doesn't give up on me. 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (moral wrongfulness).” 1 John 1:9
 
So, there you have it, my experience from ignoring God to, through thankfulness, repenting and turning to Him for forgiveness and a restoration of relationship. How many times in the future will I need to go through this? I don't know. I do know the One who will be there to get my attention, pick me up, dust me off and set me on the right path.

 I hope this is an encouragement, God knows where each of us are in our walk with Him, He knows what each one needs, when we need it, how we need it, and how to get our attention.  He has a plan for each one. He loves us.

“For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope your final outcome."  Jer. 29:11 (Amp)

"Finding the Right Target" by Randi Nelson

Do you ever find yourself praying for the same people for the same things over and over and over again? I do. In fact, yesterday I was at it again, broken heartedly and earnestly praying for someone: “Lord, please help _____ do what is right; help ______   receive; deliver _____ from bondage ….” Except this time, I had a revelation. Most of what I was praying either asked God to do what he’s already promised and done or boiled down to asking Him to manipulate this person’s free will. Hmmm… 

James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly ….” While its full context speaks to self-serving attitudes, the fragment here still has application to the broader act of prayer. I’ve been praying that my friend would make liberating decisions and begin walking in the truth (3 John 1:4). That’s God’s will isn’t it? Yet nothing changes. Maybe I haven’t seen progress because I have been praying wrongly – aiming at the wrong target perhaps?

More revelation: the focus of my prayers has been for flesh to move! But Ephesians 6:12 says, “… we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but … against the cosmic powers over this present darkness [and] the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Instead of praying for flesh to move, I should aim at the spiritual powers that deceive and immobilize flesh. Instead of asking God to make my friend walk in the good works He has prepared (Ephesians 2:10) I should be asking God to reveal the restraining forces so that in the authority given through Christ I can “bind” the “strong man” (Luke 11:21-22; Matthew 18:18).  And then, with the “sword of the Spirit”, which is the word of truth (Ephesians 6:17; Hebrews 4:12), I can focus on hewing chains of lies and slashing cloaks of darkness that prevent my friend from stepping into God’s blessings.

Well duh … I knew that! Yet here’s me, trying to shove my friend out the cell door without cutting the shackles first! 

Dear Friend … I’ll do better ….

Matthew 18:18 – “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you release on earth will have been released in heaven.

Hebrews 4:12 – For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart.

Ephesians 6:17-18 – [A]nd take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints …

 

 

"It Is Well" by Ally Mittleider

                Fall is my favorite season of the year. It always has been and probably always will be. I love the colors, the chilly mornings, warm drinks and the overall idea of things changing so rapidly but still remaining so beautiful. This fall has been different for me, though. This fall has felt more like a frigid, dead winter. It has been a hard one.

                I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty level-headed, steady-emotion type of person.  I don’t stress out easily and I am typically pretty cool, calm and collected. Lately, though, I have been knocked down time and time again. I wasn’t playing it cool, I wasn’t calm, and I was definitely far from collected. My personal life was up in a whirlwind and as soon as I thought it was going to calm own, something else kicked that whirlwind back into full motion. I felt like I was in the ring with Rhonda Rousey and I was clearly losing.

                I was in the middle of house sitting at a place where sleep was impossible when personal issues jabbed me in the left side. Then I found out my dad was in the hospital in Arizona where he was on a business trip. He loathes going to the doctor, so going on his own was a huge deal. Maybe some of you can relate? That was a jab to my right side. Maybe 24 hours later, I backed into a parked car; uppercut to the jaw. More personal matters; kick to the knee. Then the final blow – the KO – was in the midst of all of this, I completely forgot about the online class I was in and ended up two weeks behind, including my final project. I was done for.

                During this time I experienced something I had never experienced before. I endured my first anxiety attack. I was in the guest bedroom of the house I was watching when all of the sudden fear overcame me. I had myself thoroughly convinced that there was somebody in the house with me. My heart was pounding, my mind was lost and my body stayed tense. I could not get myself to physically leave the bedroom. Nothing changed until I had to call someone to check out the house for me. I mentioned before that I am a pretty even-keeled person, so it was extremely frustrating that I even had to ask someone for help at the house.

                It’s funny looking back now that I thought I had it all together. In my mind, I was handling it. It wasn’t until I received a text message from my mentor at my internship giving me the next day off that I cracked. I was driving out to the house I was watching to feed the dog. I pulled up in the driveway and glanced at the text message before going inside. She told me I needed a day to practice self-care and that is when it all clicked. As much as I thought I was handling this well, my soul was suffering from my lack of care.

                The song that came to mind after this was “It Is Well” by Bethel. The song says,

“Through it all, through it all,

My eyes are on You.

Through it all, through it all,

It is well.”

                It was such a “no duh” moment for me, that through everything I was going through during this season of my life, it can still be very well with my soul. No matter what it may be, big or small, we have a God that is bigger. We have a God that will take those burdens and carry them for the sake of the well-being of our soul. I was trying to take on the Rhonda Rousey in my life without “tagging in” the better contender who was waiting in my corner. The concept of soul care has been lingering since we introduced the new SoulCare Ministry at CitySalt. Denise Jubber has been such a great example of caring for her soul and has inspired me to find ways to do the same. I’m also very thankful this realization was before my favorite season is over so I can continue to enjoy this time of year!

"I'm Glad I Was There Today" by Daniel Blomberg

Recently, I have been meeting with a friend who is struggling with depression and mental illness.  Bill has been diagnosed as Bi-Polar or Manic Depressive.  The illness is characterized by extreme mood swings of euphoria and then extreme depression.  Counseling such a person is very difficult and fraught with risks and much anxiety.  In my friend’s case, I have seen him cycle through extreme highs and lows in a single day.  Many nights I have gone to bed not knowing if he would survive through the night because he was suicidal. He is under a doctor’s care and sees his psychiatrist on a regular basis.  Although he has been prescribed medication, he often fails to take them.

Sometimes, all you can do for a person is to just be present, listen to them, ask questions, provide suggestions, and pray for them. That is what I have been doing with Bill now for some two weeks.  So far, it has been working.  But with mental illness, there are no guarantees.  People make their own choices and sometimes they decide to take matters into their own hands.  That was the unfortunate case with the son of one of my former inmates.

It all began with a phone call I received from the shift supervisor at the Lane County Jail.  I dread getting calls from the jail because  it usually means bad news for someone.  This time, I was being asked to give a death notification to a man whose 22 year-old son had just committed suicide. 

One of our former deputies presently working in Douglas County had called the jail requesting that “Chaplain Dan” give the death notification.  Turns out, he found the deceased young man in what he thought was an abandoned pick-up truck.  The young man had shot himself in the head.  It was a gruesome sight.

I then had the unpleasant task of calling the mother and verifying the details of the death while at the same time I was trying to comfort her in her grief.

I learned that the young man had recently gotten a DUI and because of it, he had lost his job. As a result, a snow-ball effect ensued. He then had a fight with his girlfriend and she left him.  That coupled with his drug addiction and knowing that he was going to have to do some jail time on outstanding warrants was just too much for him.  Without hope, he loaded up his dog, dropped him off at a friend’s house and then drove until his pickup truck ran out of gas.  That’s where the officer found him, parked along the side of the road, slumped over in the driver’s seat.

Death notifications are always hard but this was to be the most difficult one I have experienced in 37 years of ministry.  First off, the dad was in Max Custody.  That alone alerted me that this could be fraught with some risk.  I am gong to call him “Fred.”  

I had asked the officer on duty to stand by in the event things didn’t go well.  That proved to be a wise decision.  When he called Fred out, he immediately knew something was wrong when the Chaplain was waiting to talk to him.

Fred was a middle-aged man in his early 40’s, with a stocky muscular build, sporting lots of jail-house tattoos.  He looked like he could be a real tiger if he wanted to act out.

I will never forget the look in his eyes when he begrudgingly sat down at the table, asking me what this was all about.  It was a combination of fear, anger, and suspicion.

We were sitting at a small, round table, with two chairs, facing each other about 2 feet apart.  The officer was milling about nearby, trying to act inconspicuous doing various reports and inventory for shift change.

I introduced myself and told him I was sorry that I had bad news concerning his son.  Immediately his body stiffened and he clenched his fists.  When I told him his son had passed away, he began to cry, “My boy, My boy!”  His whole body was shaking with emotion from his head to his feet.  I could tell he was about to blow, so I moved my chair back a little.

That was when the officer came near and addressed him  suggesting that he could have some yard time to himself to enable him to collect himself before he returned to his cell.

Together we walked him down to the yard where he stayed for about 45 minutes.  I waited and watched him until he was ready to return to his housing area.  During this time, he continued to weep, crying out, “My Boy, My Boy!”

Upon returning to the housing unit, he asked if he could call his wife.  She gave Fred all the sad details.  We returned to the table. At one time, I thought Fred was going to hit me.  He jumped up, made a fist, and shook it at me. I stayed steady, but the officer made two steps our way, just in case.   Afterwards, he wanted to know what God thought about suicide and if there was any hope for his son’s soul.  I explained that theologians had different views on that subject and that it wasn’t for me to judge.  When I told Fred that God was merciful and understanding of mental illness and depression, it seemed to give him some hope for his son’s eternal soul.  I told him, “If the thief on the cross could receive forgiveness just before his death, why couldn't your son?  In his dying moments, he could have cried out to Jesus asking for forgiveness.”

After nearly 2 hours of intense ministry, Fred calmed down and sadly returned to his cell.  

When I came home from work that day, my wife Marilee asked me how my day was.  I told her:  “It was one of the most difficult days I have ever had at the jail, but I am glad I was there today.”

"Room for Trust" by Joseph Scheyer

Being human has never been an easy gig. Our world…this culture… this life has plenty of confusion, disappointment, isolation, pain and complications.  On the other hand, we get to experience times of joy, excitement, compassion, connection and satisfaction. To be human is to mess up… to do dumb things… to fall far short of the Glory of God over and over again. It is also to laugh and share and witness the beautiful, amazing and miraculous. Why do we keep believing and persevering through the troubled times? What motivates us? Is our value based upon how much we do right and how little we do wrong?  Does God love me more when I help others and less when I am selfish?


A few weeks ago Dusty shared a delightful sermon, through the magic of video, named “Two Roads, Two Rooms” by a man named John Lynch who spoke about performance based faith.  One road leads to good intentions, where effort motivated by guilt requires us to manage our sins so that we can look good for each other and so find acceptance. Maybe we can even accept ourselves (what a concept). The other road leads to grace, requires humility motivated by living out our identity in God which enables us to stand with God to authentically work on our sinful nature together. I know which road/room I want to stay on but as a human being, I can easily, and often do, find myself wandering from one to the other. 


Mr. Lynch explained that since Adam first looked over his shoulder and realized he was naked; humans have operated as if our salvation is based upon performance. We must live righteously to be accepted and worthy of God’s Love. While “Godly Man (or Woman)” is an ideal worth striving for, Godliness rarely manifests through human effort.


In Ephesians 2:10, the Apostle Paul writes: “For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.”
I think what Paul is saying here is that genuine salvation is entirely of God and it inevitably results in a life of good works. In other words, if we understand that God’s love and acceptance is based upon who we are rather than on what we do, we will naturally live by the golden rule.


The ironic thing is that God already knows our actions, behavior and our hearts. Furthermore, God already provided the gift of Jesus to take care of our fallen human nature. This means that there is nothing I can ever do or attain that will get me closer to salvation than I am right now. If we believe that God is really who He says He is and trust that we are unconditionally loved and accepted, we will naturally operate as if we belong in God’s Kingdom.  Integrity, honor, respect and consideration for one another will be second nature. Thank you Lord that you love me and for the gift of salvation that allows me to be authentic and work to be a better person.

 

"Blessed Be Your Name" song by Madison Kettwig

Listen as Madison Kettwig brings to close a Sunday service at CitySalt Church by singing "Blessed by the Name of the Lord" written by Matt Redman. Pastor Dusty finishes with a prayer as part of a message titled, "Jonah 6.0 | Unpredictable Plants" from Jonah chapter four where Jonah wrestles with grace, mercy and a teachable moment with God involving an unpredictable shade tree. 

---

Blessed Be The Name of the Lord
by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

 

 

 

"More Than Shelter" by Betty Fletcher

Recently in my devotional reading, I ran across a passage from Henri Nouwen that touched something deep inside—a longing I didn’t know I had. He says, “Home is that place or space where we do not have to be afraid but can let go of our defenses and be free, free from worries, free from tensions, free from pressures. Home is where we can laugh and cry, embrace and dance, sleep long and dream quietly, eat, read, play, watch the fire, listen to music, and be with a friend. Home is where we can rest and be healed. The word ‘home’ gathers a wide range of feelings and emotions up into one image, the image of a house where it is good to be: the house of love.”

I’d never thought of home like that. A safe place, sure. Shelter? You bet. But a place where I could experience restoration, healing, relationship, laughter, and joy? That hasn’t really been on my radar. And if I’m honest, and I’m trying to be, it hasn’t always been my experience in my relationship with the Lord either. In John 14:23, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” When I spend time with the Lord, I don’t always feel “at home” with him. There’s an undercurrent of anxiety that I can’t quite put my finger on but that you may experience too—a feeling that the Lord may be a little disappointed with me.

When I’m walking in the woods, I sometimes come across snow shelters. These structures provide the bare minimum of protection and are a welcome refuge in stormy weather. That’s how I feel in my prayer life. But God isn’t hunkering down in a snow shelter in our hearts. He has built a whole house there, and he invites us to take off our boots, put down our packs (or purses or briefcases or diaper bags), leave them in the mudroom, and begin to explore the rest of the home with him. Father, Son, Holy Spirit—all are waiting with open arms to have long conversations by the fire, share a meal, read a book together, face fears with us, prepare us for battles, and most of all, help us grow in love. Thank you, Lord!

"Bread Crumbs" by Terry Sheldon

We all remember the childhood fairytale of Hansel and Gretel, right? Yes these macabre medieval tales can be a bit strange, but story details aside, this one has recently meant a great deal to me. Bread crumbs.

All of us have the pleasure of relating to a wonderful God, but one who remains a bit elusive, if that's the right word. We see through the glass dimly. Finding God's will for us, and the path we are to take in life is just plain hard. We look for God's guiding hand in our circumstances because we put value in the physical symbols of his care. We all crave the mile markers of comfort, security, and the known.

And we look for patterns to follow. We ask others for advice. We go about trying to solve this Rubric's Cube, and we expect our reward at the end. A grand adventure on our part for sure, but isn't it more than just an end game that promises earthly success?

More importantly, it's got to be a crucial exercise - training us in how our Father will be known. I suspect this because of the nagging thought that he really DOES know us more than we give him credit for. He knows where we are in our path back to full redemption. He knows what of these circumstances and outcomes should encourage growth and give help, and conversely, which might bring us more harm and set us back in this holy process.

But back to bread crumbs. Hansel and Gretel followed these. They were simple instructions, given one at a time. Perhaps in God's wise spirit, "too much information" is dangerous, and purposefully keeps things simple for us. He wants to know the level of our faith. He wants to know how much we truly trust him. He doesn't want to overpower us with the complexity of it all. His message is simple, and his ways probably are as well. Much simpler than we think sometimes.

Him: "Will you trust me"?
Me: "But you don't understand, what about that ..."
Him: "I know. I will take care of it. Will you trust me?"
Me: "Ok".
Him: "Here is a bread crumb. Follow me."

Envisioning this for me is a very good thing. It's simple instruction - question and answer, call and response, and it's is a valid point of contact, one that my spirit craves. I am so tired of unbelief, worldly cynicism, and feeling alone on this island. Then I see the bread crumb. I sense his nudging. I envision him beckoning to me. 

I love the way the Lord boiled it down for Peter after his devastating denials. "Why did you DO that?!" wasn't the question (and most likely would have been what you or I would have demanded in that situation). Instead, he simply said "Do you love me"? A LOVING bread crumb.

Suddenly my own worries and concerns aren't so large. My vision and my reach doesn't stop with me and my efforts. I am not alone, trying to "make something happen".

Can you envision the Lord dropping the next bread crumb in front of you? Do you hear one in Dusty's words on Sunday morning? Does one fall to the ground after a disappointment you've experienced? Our job really is simple. Just pick it up. Then walk, trust, talk to God and find the next one. He will lead us. That's his promise.

"My Father" by Darla Beardsley

This week, September 16, 2015 is the 5th anniversary of my dad’s passing. It would be hard to write a devotional this week without reflecting on that. I love that man with all my heart. The tears are rolling.

He was very supportive during his lifetime and there is no doubt in my mind that he loved me and would do anything for me. He would turn the world upside-down if necessary. I knew that at a heart level. I am sure that fact is the strong foundation of my love for him. Having said that, one might suspect that my dad and I had the perfect relationship. But that was not the case. The day-to-day living out of that love was not always smooth. I had the hardest time holding a deep, meaningful conversation with my dad. I always felt like we didn’t really ‘get’ each other. From my perspective, we thought and expressed ourselves so differently. 

Last week, the man who I fondly refer to as “my second dad” passed away as well. Noel Campbell was beloved by far more than me during all his years of living and ministry. He was a spiritual father to many. I felt I could talk to him about anything and his abiding response was always unconditional love. I knew that he too wanted the best for me and many times walked the second and third mile with me.

Lately I have been struggling to understand my Heavenly Father and His plan for my life. There are circumstances in my life about which I feel unable to understand what the Father is saying to me. There are prayers that seem to go unanswered and situations that confound the logic that I had assigned to them. I don’t always “get” what the Father is doing. I can’t see the big picture like He does. Isaiah 55 tells us that God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours. 

As I was considering my life and my relationship with my dad, this scripture came to me. Luke 11: 11-13 AMP “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you, then, being evil [that is, sinful by nature], know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask and continue to ask Him!”

It seems that the Lord is reminding me that with my earthly father there were times that communication was unclear and understanding elusive. The same can be true with Father God because I cannot see what He sees clearly. I know that my earthly fathers loved me and would do their best for me, how much more my perfect Heavenly Father! He has my best in mind. He has my back. He sees what I do not. My charge is to trust Him and seek Him with all my heart. He will do the rest.

I dedicate this devotional to my father, Hal Frey and to Noel Campbell, two men who have helped me understand God the Father’s love. Lord help me to pay it forward.

 


Isaiah 55: 8-9 NKJV
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”


Luke 11: 9-13 AMP
“So I say to you, ask and keep on asking, and it will be given to you; seek and keep on seeking, and you will find; knock and keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who keeps on asking [persistently], receives; and he who keeps on seeking [persistently], finds; and to him who keeps on knocking [persistently], the door will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you, then, being evil [that is, sinful by nature], know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask and continue to ask Him!”

Jeremiah 29: 11-13 NKJV
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

"Anchor" by Kayla Erickson

I love to write. But I have been sitting here for an hour, and I can’t quite form a clear thought for the subject of this week’s devotional.  I can only share what’s running through my mind. Someone in our family is dying. He’s been fighting cancer for over 10 years, had several major surgeries, had one leg removed, had one lung removed. But now here’s the cancer in his remaining lung slowly filling up his breathing room.  Any surgery to attempt to remove it would likely kill him, so he is home, living each day as it comes. We get to visit with him often. You can tell how much pain he’s in.  On a good day it’s just a shadow behind his eyes while he carries on a brief conversation with you. The bad days he struggles to speak.  He doesn’t know Jesus, but is questioning, desiring prayer, desperate for hope, reaching for ways to comfort his children through this process.  We all feel the great tension of caring so much for him and being absolutely powerless to save.  I want to offer comfort, but the only comfort I can offer is Jesus, who declares that there is no other way.  I feel I am floating in uncertainty. Torn between hope and resignation. God could still do a miracle. I pray and desperately hope that there will be a miracle, be it salvation of body or soul or both.  I have deep fear that I will somehow miss doing what I ought, that I will be an ineffective instrument or say something unintentionally unloving and unhelpful to a dying man. I wonder what I will have to give to his children who may lose their father after watching him suffer so much.  I must cling to Jesus.  I have no answer but him. He is life. He is wholeness. He is eternal. He is comfort and love. He is all wisdom and understanding. He is the anchor when tumbling terrifying disorientation threatens to separate us from everything familiar. He is the center of my being. I pray he will give me words of compassion and truth, not from me, but from Him. He is with me. 

“We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6: 19-20 ESV

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4

"Attachment Styles and Jesus" by John Rice

I have recently been exploring a concept called Attachment Styles in relationships. I’m finding it very helpful in the ongoing quest to understand myself and other people better.
 
The basic idea is this: because of our relational experiences early in life, we have learned a pattern of attaching to people (or not) in a way that continues, unless addressed, all through our life. It is deeply ingrained in our way of interacting with others. We usually don’t think of this behavior, often not even being aware of it at all. As we become aware of these patterns of behavior, we may find very healthy impulses, but we also may find very unhealthy ones. Here’s a brief synopsis of the styles of attaching:
 
There are 4 attachment styles:            secure / anxious / avoidant / disorganized.
 
1) Briefly, the person who is a secure attacher relates easily to other people. They want relationship and they move and flow in a healthy way with others. They are comfortable within themselves and confident that, although not perfect, they are lovable and acceptable people.
 
2) The anxious attacher needs others to make them feel OK about themselves. They are overly dependent, often clingy and demanding. They are desperate for others to approve of them, so that they can “hold their head above water.”
 
3) The avoidant attacher doesn’t need anyone, or at least acts as if they don’t. They are overly independent and not especially concerned with relationships. Often they live in their heads. They might be viewed as distant, dismissive or arrogant.
 
4) The disorganized attacher flips back and forth between being anxious and avoidant. It is very difficult for disorganized attachers to connect in relationships. They are very confusing to others.
 
So you may be wondering by now why I am bringing up this kind of information in a devotional to God. Well, as I have been looking into my own attachment style, I realized it has been limiting me from living fully as the person God wants me to be. And this has several repercussions to it, for myself, for my relationship with other people and even in my relationship with God.
 
I believe many of us Believers are anxiously attached to God. That is, we are never secure in our relationship with Him. We feel we must beg Him, plead with Him, work hard for Him and do all the right things if we are to gain His acceptance and love. We never attain the surety of our belonging.
 
Others of us are avoidant of Him. Perhaps we don’t really believe He loves us or cares about us, so we don’t even try to get close enough to know Him. We don’t trust Him. It’s best if we just keep our distance, live our own independent life, and hope for the best.
 
If we are predominantly anxious, avoidant or disorganized, we might do well to look at how we relate to God. How would you guess our perfect, loving, accepting Father would want us to relate to Him? Though we are always dependent on Him, I believe He would want us to do so from a place of secure attachment. In other words, He wants us to be secure in the knowledge that He really has accepted us, even as the sinners that we are. He has forgiven us and is now working to set us free of all obstacles that keep us separate from Him and from rightly loving others as we do ourselves. He has invited us into His family, He promises to dwell with us, to never leave us or forsake us. He has promised to restore our souls. Will we accept His invitation and believe His promises? The answer to that question has profound implications to the way we will walk in the world…and beyond. I believe that if we can be secure in our relationship to God, there will be increasing health and healing in our relationships to others. Thank you, Jesus!!
 


"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Ps 139:23-24


"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me."
Rev 3:20
 
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Rm 8:37-39

"Healthy Appetite" by Dusty Johnson

It’s good to have a healthy appetite.  We need food and water to survive.  In the same way, we need a healthy appetite for God.  We need spiritual food and the presence of God.  Without it our souls will not survive.  Gratefully Jesus offers the blessing of true satisfaction when we hunger and thirst for our right place with Him.  
 
In ancient times the common man would have understood what it means to live on the edge of thirst and starvation.  Food and water were in shorter supply. His hunger pains and unquenchable thirst were serious motivators to seek sustenance.  In our modern western world, few understand what it means to be truly hungry or thirsty.  The closest I get to “starving” are the cravings for a snack or the occasional desire for a “fourth-meal.” (I know it’s sad but true.)
 
Yet, amid the abundance of “good things” I pray that you will find your appetite for God and take your rightful place at God’s banquet, made possible in Christ.  As you feast on the “best things” from God’s table this week, may you find His promise of deep soul-quenching satisfaction.    
 
Bon appétit!

 

Matthew 5:6 (Paraphrase by William Barclay)
“Blessed is the man who longs for total righteousness as a starving man longs for food, and a man perishing of thirst longs for water, for that man will be truly satisfied.”

Matthew 5:6 NIV
”Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Matthew 5:6 The Message
"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.”

"The Gift of Forgiveness" by Joseph Scheyer

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Louis B. Smedes
 
My next door neighbor can be a challenging person.  From the time that this became apparent, I began thinking that God must have put him in my life for a reason.
 
In the first draft of this devotional, I went into many of the antagonistic details but then realized that my reaction and unforgiveness was the primary issue. For too long, I allowed the hostile actions to fester so that whenever he and I crossed paths, all I could hear was my own negative internal monologue. When I would take it to the Lord in prayer, the prayer was always for a change in his behavior. There was no humility in my heart and no compassion for my tormentor. Last fall, he and I got into a shouting match after a purposeful attempt to antagonize me… which obviously, on that day, succeeded. In response, I fired several volley’s of sarcasm, to mock him, in my anger.  Soon afterwards, I felt remorse for my role in that interaction because I lost all perspective and forgot who I really am in the vision of Christ.  I later apologized and expressed that I regretted my behavior in that unfortunate interaction.  I also asked for forgiveness. Sadly, my apology was profanely rejected and the concept of forgiveness seemed to not even register. What I received instead was a vehement dose of anger and hostility.
 
Martin Luther King, Jr. once said that “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
 
When Jesus was being nailed to the Cross, he asked God to forgive those who were crucifying Him. Through the pain and suffering at the hands of His tormentors, Jesus chose to pray that God would forgive them. At that moment, Jesus displayed kindness, compassion, humility, mercy and love for each and every one of us. It was God’s Will that His Son die to deliver us. Those who crucified Jesus chose not to listen to the words that He preached because they were filled with anger and hostility. Jesus never fought back; instead he let the Will of his Father be done. Jesus loved us completely… and that is why he prayed: “Forgive them, Father!  They know not what they are doing.”  I can’t pretend to understand the depth of God’s Love for us or how to love completely and absolutely as Jesus did… but I am grateful for this beautiful example of what it means to truly Love each and every one of us.
 
I still, almost daily, receive a passive/aggressive dose of anger and/or hostility from my neighbor but gratefully, I do not always feel the need to reciprocate.  I am very aware that the only possible way to diffuse hatred is to repay the evil with good.  Even so, I have to admit that part of me resents this and wants to lash back even though I know that would only worsen the situation. I still have a difficult time turning off that negative, sarcastic internal voice but (most of the time) realize that getting even is no longer important. I do find peace in the understanding that I have the ability to forgive and can feel compassion. I am learning that forgiveness is not normally a one time event but more commonly a daily exercise in tolerance, humility and empathy. Through this experience I am also beginning to realize that there can be no compassion without humility. I must be able to humble myself before I can begin to see that my neighbor is suffering in ways that I cannot understand and so begin the process of experiencing compassion for this child of God next door. Lord I pray for the grace to continue to forgive my neighbor as many times as is necessary …thank you Lord for helping me to understand how I can be a better neighbor and a better human being.

"Wrestling in Unbelief" by Daniel Blomberg

Have you ever wrestled in unbelief with the words you were hearing? Sure you have. I will never forget being told that my cousin, Janet Kay, was dead when I was 5 years old. I didn't want to believe it and couldn't accept it.

The same was true in 1999 when I got the phone call from the nursing home informing me that my mom had just died. I couldn't believe it! I had just left her bedside and gone home to grab a quick lunch. After all, the nurse assured me it would be OK to go grab some lunch, right?  On the drive over to the nursing home to see mom, the radio played “Amazing Grace.”  
And back in 2005, I couldn't believe or accept the doctor's words when he said, "You have Kidney cancer." But it was true, no matter how much I denied it. That word "cancer" is a word we all dread hearing. Immediately our minds fill with fear, anxiety, and denial.

That's kind of how I am feeling right now. I just met with a neurologist who told me: "I think you have had a stroke!"

He followed that by saying he wants me to have yet another MRI, to confirm his diagnosis. But based upon my symptoms, he is ordering physical therapy right away, and another MRI.

I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. I don't want to believe it or accept it. But the reality is, I can't move my left hand like I should be able to. It is weak and uncoordinated.

I guess I won't be painting the house anytime soon, if at all!

But, praise God, I am still here, and I can still walk and talk normally! What is that scripture verse, "Give thanks in all things."? Lord, thank you for sparing me. Thank you for today and the gift of life, for family, friends, and loved ones. You are worthy of our praise and our worship!

Amen