A friend recently sent me a video of a discussion between Christian counselors. They brought up the idea that used to be the conventional wisdom in many churches: once we’re saved, we don’t have to worry about our past. It’s all under the blood. No reason to revisit it. But these counselors believe that’s not quite true. It is forgiven by the blood, but not forgotten by our subconscious minds.
Most of us need to revisit our past, at least informally with a trusted friend or advisor if not in actual therapy, in order to process and figure out why we have the struggles that we do. Salvation doesn’t mean we are suddenly perfect. Many of us have had trauma or shame hidden deep within that has impacted the way we deal/interact with the world. These counselors talked about the need to deal with things from our past in order to overcome the subconscious consequences of them.
I can attest to this. As a young child, I prayed for salvation, and as a youth rededicated my life to God and was baptized. I had a relationship with Jesus. Sure, everything was “covered under the blood.” But as an adult, I still had to work through things (with the help of friends, advisors, and counselors) including trauma, grief, and shame in order to love myself fully and thus be able to love others fully.
Jesus said to love our neighbor as ourselves and to love our enemies. How can we love our neighbors or our enemies as ourselves if we don’t love parts of ourselves due to shame? Yes, His blood covers all when we come to know Him. But He also walks with us as we work out our salvation (Philippians 2:12), and provides people in our lives that can help us with that process.
In my last Salt Blog post, I listed some books that a counselor had me read that were pivotal in my life. One of them, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, taught me how to love all the parts of myself, even the ones that are difficult to love.
My takeaway from her book was to uproot the dark, shameful, shadowy parts of ourselves that we don’t love, present them to the light of day and love of God, and integrate them back into ourselves so we can love our whole selves. It’s an abstract concept. But thanks to God’s guidance, therapy, and friends, I was able to work it out over time.
Friends, if you’re having a hard time loving yourself, please don’t be afraid to seek help. The Holy Spirit is our ultimate Counselor. But God created us to be in community with Him and others and to help each other. There is nothing weak or shameful about needing help. He loves you and me and all the dark parts of ourselves.
About the Author
Jessie is a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a blog about travel and the journeys of women. She is very excited to be a part of the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her sweet husband, Chris, their 5 funny kids, and 1 fluffy cat in Springfield. She loves hiking and other outdoor and indoor adventures with her family.