Loving Our Enemies Within | Leaning into Healing

A friend recently sent me a video of a discussion between Christian counselors. They brought up the idea that used to be the conventional wisdom in many churches: once we’re saved, we don’t have to worry about our past. It’s all under the blood. No reason to revisit it. But these counselors believe that’s not quite true. It is forgiven by the blood, but not forgotten by our subconscious minds. 

Most of us need to revisit our past, at least informally with a trusted friend or advisor if not in actual therapy, in order to process and figure out why we have the struggles that we do. Salvation doesn’t mean we are suddenly perfect. Many of us have had trauma or shame hidden deep within that has impacted the way we deal/interact with the world. These counselors talked about the need to deal with things from our past in order to overcome the subconscious consequences of them. 

I can attest to this. As a young child, I prayed for salvation, and as a youth rededicated my life to God and was baptized. I had a relationship with Jesus. Sure, everything was “covered under the blood.” But as an adult, I still had to work through things (with the help of friends, advisors, and counselors) including trauma, grief, and shame in order to love myself fully and thus be able to love others fully. 

Jesus said to love our neighbor as ourselves and to love our enemies. How can we love our neighbors or our enemies as ourselves if we don’t love parts of ourselves due to shame? Yes, His blood covers all when we come to know Him. But He also walks with us as we work out our salvation (Philippians 2:12), and provides people in our lives that can help us with that process. 

In my last Salt Blog post, I listed some books that a counselor had me read that were pivotal in my life. One of them, When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd, taught me how to love all the parts of myself, even the ones that are difficult to love. 

My takeaway from her book was to uproot the dark, shameful, shadowy parts of ourselves that we don’t love, present them to the light of day and love of God, and integrate them back into ourselves so we can love our whole selves. It’s an abstract concept. But thanks to God’s guidance, therapy, and friends, I was able to work it out over time. 

Friends, if you’re having a hard time loving yourself, please don’t be afraid to seek help. The Holy Spirit is our ultimate Counselor. But God created us to be in community with Him and others and to help each other. There is nothing weak or shameful about needing help. He loves you and me and all the dark parts of ourselves. 

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About the Author

Jessie is a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a blog about travel and the journeys of women. She is very excited to be a part of the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her sweet husband, Chris, their 5 funny kids, and 1 fluffy cat in Springfield. She loves hiking and other outdoor and indoor adventures with her family.

Loving Our Enemies Within | Personal Prayer of Psalm 139

Psalm 139 (NLT) For the choir director: A psalm of David, and a prayer of Mollie

The following is Psalm 139 with Mollie’s own prayer woven in. It invites the reader to consider how personal the Scriptures can be.

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1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
Lord, You know every detail about my life, even the parts that I don’t see or don’t want to. You know every motive of my heart and every thought of my mind. You perceive my emotions and make sense of my behaviors. What can I hide from you and what would I want to?

2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
Even before I think, a thought, you know it full well. Your thoughts are too high for me, too lofty for me to attain. Yet, you transform me, sanctify, and make me holy.

3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
O Lord, where can I hide from you? You know when I am exhausted and when I am full of zeal. You foreknew every step and make straight the path before me. In every valley or mountain high, you will guide me through it all. You are in control of my coming out and my lying down. 

4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
Even before I think the thoughts to create the words I say, you perceive them and understand them. You know every intent of every word and I commit them all to you. 

5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
May your favor rest upon me. May you anoint each step as I do my best to follow you. Take me by the hand and guide me. Go before and behind me. Be my ever present help in trouble and victory in freedom. 

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
It is beyond me to understand your thoughts and your ways. Yet, through your gift of the Holy Spirit within me, you reveal to me the loftiness of your reasonings. Though I may not understand all your ways. I am learning to trust you more each day. 

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
I am grateful that no matter where I am you are there. Even when I want to be alone in my shame, you remind me that You want to be there too. 

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
No matter where my brokenness leads me, even there, you will meet me with a warm embrace. I can lean on and depend upon your strength to satisfy and uphold me. 

11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
Even when my sin weighs me down and I am ashamed, you make my night illuminate like the day. You say to me, “there is nothing to hide. I love you through and through, and I forgive every part of you.” 

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
At times I question if I am indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. I look at my faults and weaknesses and am not filled with wonder. Instead I experience shame, guilt and doubt. Other times I think, how does a good God make me to be like this? Why do the dark parts of me exist? How can I control them? Alas, I cannot. Lord, you teach me that it is only through the submission to the Holy Spirit and His fruits that I can fully become all You have intended for me to become.

14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
I may not understand every facet of me, but you do. You call me wonderful and marvelous. Help me to embrace myself like you do. Grant me your eyes to see me how you see me. 

15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
You fully know every detail of my past and future. Let me be caught up in the present moments with you. Fully trusting you with every part of my life. 

17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
At times, it is hard to believe that one can have precious thoughts about me. Lord, help me to view myself as you view me. I am holy and worthy in your eyes.

19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
LORD, I am grateful that my life is protected with you eternally. Help me to pray for those that are different from me or those that live their lives contrary to your plan. 

20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name,
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
Yet you are a God of love. Yes, you are a jealous God, but you also give freedom of choice. Help me to understand more of how you see the world and love as you love. 

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
LORD, I surrender every thought, word and action to you. Show me the ways in me that you want to change and grant me the serenity to do so. 

24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Show me the way to heaven and let me walk in those ways currently and forever more. Reveal to me all that you have for me and for you children. LORD, I want to know you more. I long to spend eternity with you. Come quickly, LORD, please come. Let my heart cry be, “MARANATHA” COME LORD COME!

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About the Author

Mollie is married to her wonderful husband Dustin. She is a Wound Care RN at McKenzie Willamette Hospital. She enjoys being creative, getting outdoors and spending time with friends and family.

Loving Our Enemies Within | God’s Grace is Our Superpower

Imagine yourself as a beautiful, unique clay bowl when you were born. You were one of a kind. Your shape, your color, your size were all very special and you were deeply loved, appreciated and cared for by your parents. As you started to grow older you noticed that you were different from all the other kids. A few of those kids didn’t like your different qualities and they seemed jealous or afraid of you, so they called you names and excluded you from their games. This hurt. You might have started to think that they had good reason to not like you, like maybe you were unworthy of their admiration. This all had the effect of knocking a chip out of the beautiful pottery bowl that was yourself.

Sometime later, you were frustrated because you needed something that you couldn’t afford, but someone you knew had this thing and you figured that they didn’t really need it like you needed it. So you stole it. Your conscience felt a little bad about it, but you were able to push those thoughts down in your mind…at least mostly. You noticed something like a small crack in the side of your bowl.

Then someone you loved moved far away or even died. This was like a big crack in your bowl, so big that a part of your bowl broke off and shattered. Because of this loss, you felt so bad that you tried taking drugs to ease the pain and before you knew it, you felt you couldn’t live without these drugs. You were addicted and your life really started falling apart. There were more and more cracks in the beautiful bowl that once seemed so perfect. If you believed in God, you were pretty sure God had allowed all these things to happen to you because you weren’t the good person God wanted you to be. This life, and these cracks, were punishment for your imperfections and your failings. Your clay bowl was so cracked that you thought it was useless and ready for the junk pile.

But God apparently had a different plan. Rather than judge and punish you for your bad choices and painful experiences, He began to fill in all those cracks and shattered pieces, mending them so that your bowl was restored, still useful and possibly even more beautiful than before! And not only did He repair the gaps and missing pieces, He did it with the costliest materials.

This image of you as a once perfect, then broken, and finally restored clay pot is a spiritual dynamic found in the Bible…it’s called grace.

Japanese craftsmen employ an ancient technique called “Kintsugi” to repair broken clay pots and bowls. It fits with their philosophy that just because something breaks, it shouldn't be thrown away but rather restored. This is honoring the original by giving it new life. And the new bowl or pot has an extra special dimension, having been restored with precious materials like gold or silver.

The kintsugi technique reminds me of God’s working to restore us by His grace. Grace is defined as undeserved favor. We can’t restore ourselves by our willpower and strength alone. It’s a gift of God’s grace, as Paul mentions in his letter to the believers in Ephesus:

Ephesians 2:8
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared beforehand for us to do.

How amazing that God saves us! He restores us! He transforms us! And it not only benefits ourselves…it’s for the purpose of blessing others and to make the world a better place, “to do good works which He prepared beforehand for us to do.”

Here are some pictures of bowls restored with the Kintsugi process:

Be blessed! The only thing required to have this beautiful and valuable restorative process take place in your life is to receive the grace God is pouring into you. Look for it!

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About the Author

John lives in Pleasant Hill with his dog, Gunnar, and a multitude of guests who enjoy the peace and beauty of the Cascade foothills. With three children and three grandchildren all living in Oregon, he is continually blessed with their company and the good food that always accompanies their get-togethers!

Loving Our Enemies Within | Everything Belongs

We’ve all likely heard the instruction to love your enemy, but how often do we apply that to some of the more unlikeable parts of ourselves? There are aspects of ourselves that will inevitably cause us frustration, shame, disgust, or confusion. Is there an opportunity to act lovingly to those parts, rather than ignore them or hide them? How does God invite us to love ourselves as he does?

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Our bible has many references for enemies - in the Old Testament especially. It helps us to understand it all within the backdrop of ancient Hebrew culture, one of a forceful foreign occupation and struggle, with the resulting violence. The many stories understandably contain human outrages and laments with the injustice of it all. Then New Testament Jesus brought a stark contrast with the divine goal of a radical, forgiving love. In our times, enemies can be people in our world and in our lives, while at the same time a relational cancer that preys on us all.

It’s the enemy within. 

Yes, we all hear the deceiver’s lies, and we cringe as we observe the evil and suffering in the world around us. Our tender hearts seem to frequently be under attack. And haven’t we all heard about the get-tough language of waging spiritual warfare and “kicking out the devil?” I am certainly for standing up to evil and the evil one, but maybe we’re missing something. So yes, go bold. 

But also softer, gentler and more intuitive.

We all know that surrounding our many manifestations of feeling human - guilt, fear, shame, grieving, showing emotion, etcetera - are cultural assumptions and even rules about how we are to behave. Yeah, those stigmas that we think we should all be over with by now, are still lurking deep. Harmful thoughts and feelings may be newly imagined, or latent and smoldering over time, from past wounds. They stop us.

An African proverb goes like this:

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” A great concept, but what do we do with the enemy within, toss it out with a choice scripture? 

Or a more nuanced approach.

Abraham Lincoln said:

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”

Hmm, now we’re on to something. I love the idea that everything belongs in our lives. The good and the not so good. The sweet times and the struggling. God uses it all. ALL of it. He speaks to us in it all and changes us through it. He redeems it.

Instead of being so hard on ourselves, how about this attitude: Our spiritual lives are an adventure, and our overriding task should be the seeking and knocking. That takes curiosity and an open mind. And courage (but great reward)! Beyond stigmas, let’s give ourselves permission to FEEL the hurt, maybe identify the whys, and lean into the change.

Let's press in harder to get to know the heart of Father God, and ourselves better. The softer and gentler approach seeks understanding of our own insecurities and triggers, but without the shame and those tired, cultural expectations.

The end goal of our relationship with God is seeking our (and His) deepest desires - simply put, learning how to love and learning how to be loved. 

Luke 6:27 The Message
“To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.”

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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.