While my beliefs and faith have certainly evolved over time, one of the biggest impacts on my faith was a book that actually brought me back to what I thought I had always believed but hadn’t really been practicing.
In 2014, during my summer break from teaching in Afghanistan, I started seeing a counselor named Evan who was a licensed therapist and also a Christian. My employer paid for mental health insurance since we worked in a conflict zone, and I figured I’d need some therapy for a little PTSD from working there. I’d also never gotten to debrief with a counselor after my divorce a few years earlier.
Instead of working on the PTSD, Evan felt I should focus on a few other areas. In addition to working on grieving my place in life at the time (divorced with no kids), he had me work on some character issues I had that were causing relationship issues with friends and relatives, as well do some work on my faith, which had gotten off track. He recommended various books for me to read: “Boundaries” by Cloud & Townsend, “It’s Your Call” by Gary Barkalow, “When the Heart Waits” by Sue Monk Kidd, and “With: Reimagining the Way We Relate to God” by Skye Jethani.
They all impacted my life in various ways, but that last one was a call back to my first love and what I’d always thought my faith was built on. I’d grown up in a Protestant/Evangelical non-denominational church that focused on us having a personal faith/relationship with God, so I thought that’s what I believed. But in practice, I was living out my faith differently.
In his book, Skye Jethani (whose father is from India, so I appreciate his perspective that isn’t limited to American-style Christianity) discusses the five possible “postures” we humans can have in relating to God. Most of us tend to fall into one of the first four that he describes, but what we really need is the fifth.
Postures 1-4:
Life Under God - our primary role is to do all the right things or obey all the right rules, then God blesses us (legalism)
Live Over God - living by Biblical principles or worldly wisdom, but not really needing Him
Life From God - using God to gain something (think “prosperity Gospel” practices)
Life For God - where the most significant life is one spent accomplishing things in service to Him
These first four postures are ways of controlling God or controlling our own life. But there is another way:
Posture 5: Life With God
Skye reminds us that the first story of humans in the Bible is in the Garden of Eden, which God prepared for (my paraphrase) the express purpose of hanging out with us humans. The book of John starts out by saying “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.”
At various times in my life, I’m sure I’ve lived in all of those first four postures. At the time I read the book, I was very focused on the “Life For God” one. I was all about what I could do for God or others, instead of remembering that God is God and Jesus is the Savior, so I don’t need to be. People in professions I’ve been in like teachers, social workers, aid workers, missionaries, etc. can tend to fall into this posture. But really I just need to abide in Him and then follow the Holy Spirit’s lead to impact the world around me. At other times in my life, I lived “Under God.” Growing up, I subconsciously thought if I lived a pure enough life and obeyed the Bible, then things would eventually go my way. A lot of our country’s culture wars could be blamed on this posture, too. If we just have all the right laws and make everyone live how we think they should, then God will bless our land/country/world/etc.
Which of the four common postures have you found yourself in lately? It’s so easy to fall into these!
But living with God, that’s hard. Sure, we can schedule “quiet times” and read devotionals and the Bible and try going on prayer walks. Maybe it’s just me and my ADHD, but I don’t last very long at these. My mind wanders off so quickly. So I’ve learned to follow the wisdom of Brother Lawrence, a monk from centuries ago who wrote the essay/short book “Practicing the Presence of God.” I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this for the Salt Blog before, so I’ll keep this short. Basically it’s the idea that we can talk to God in short or long times whatever we’re doing. Washing dishes, driving to work, etc. I’ve learned to chat with Him for a minute or two and then not live in guilt if I get distracted. I can talk to Him more later, since He is the Creator of time.
I also try to remember that God wants us to talk to Him not just when we feel our need for Him, but when times are good, too. I write in a gratitude journal sometimes, but I try to remember to just “hang out” with Him sometimes. Talk to Him about what I like or something random. He doesn’t just love us; He likes us! He made us and knows us and enjoys us.
Of course, life can get so busy that I forget to even do this for a while. This is why other aspects of the Christian walk are so important, such as regular fellowship and worship as well as engaging with the Word in various ways (study, sermons, podcasts, discussions, etc.). These things help me be more likely to remember to talk to God when times are good or bad.
What things in life help you to get back to a posture of being with God instead of over, under, for, or from Him? Please share in the comments or with me somehow. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!
About the Author
Jessie is a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a blog about travel and the journeys of women. She is very excited to be a part of the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her sweet husband, Chris, their 5 funny kids, and 1 fluffy cat in Springfield. She loves hiking and other outdoor and indoor adventures with her family.