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Unity | Essential Duality

Terry Sheldon June 17, 2022

"A house divided against itself cannot stand," said Senate candidate Abraham Lincoln in his 1858 Illinois convention speech, amidst the backdrop of slavery and the boiling tensions that later led to the Civil War. He realized the essential importance of national unity.

With our cultural and political climate on flashpoint sensitivity these days, I believe unity has become even more important than the issues that divide us. Like a marriage, if you cut off all communication, we simply cannot function. And we all know what the result will be.

Let's drill down deeper into unity.

There seems to be a mistaken impression that we all have to agree for us to be unified. Or we have to be great friends. God boldly asks us to love one another, but in a nuts and bolts way, what does that mean? To me, it's where duality comes in.

Roughly defined, and for this discussion, duality refers to two opposing groups who ironically share the same needs. Each may prefer different methods for achieving solutions, but also share essential common ground. A positive duality brings the two sides together to accomplish good things that serve the common good. We're seeking common ground here, so what's our shared baseline?

An unavoidable truth - we are all connected.

Created in God’s image, we are related – ALL of humanity. But our shared spiritual DNA does not mean sameness. There's so much variation in our life experiences, and that diversity can foster adversity. Everyone's unique consciousness is their own world filtered through unique upbringing, experiences, cultures and emotional traumas. We are all shaped by the sponge that is our human mind and heart. We soak up every tiny bit along the way.

We are all at the same time both the problem and the solution. Our insecurities are unanswered questions about our inherent value and the quality of our love. That inner uncertainty can produce a silent suspicion, an animosity towards people groups we don’t even know. We stay in our tribes, aligned by similar assumptions, and clouded by emotional bias. It’s really not surprising that it’s such a challenge to come together.

So what is the solution?

We need to realize the essential importance of our connectivity. Again, we're all God's children and we are all on that path - understood or not yet realized. Strife and division works against all of this. Our relationships are polluted, our ministry thwarted and the enemy wins. We need a way out. A way back to the Father.

The scourge of sin didn't cut off anyone's birthright, only our knowledge and correct vision of him, and therefore our access - from OUR dim-glass perspective. After the prodigal son humbled himself and returned to the family farm, his father received him exuberantly, with open arms. It was only about love. The son didn't have to first pay back his father's money that he squandered.

So why does God ask us to love others?

Back to the nuts and bolts, duality can benefit both sides in a marvelous tactical way. On the Survivor TV show, every strong alliance is based on skill, hard work and expertise brought to the table - not necessarily on fondness for each other. They set their differences aside and join together to win the prize, creating mutual respect along the way. This is the real bedrock of our country’s democratic ideals and processes. Abraham Lincoln understood that.

We’ve all been through a lot of trauma these past few years, and Covid really has underscored our connection - as a planet! The pandemic has asked, even begged all of us, for a global understanding and cooperation. It’s now so essential to put aside our pride, challenge our assumptions, and ask the Lord to heal our cynicism. Help us Lord regain our compassion for all. Let's reach out in wholesome dialog with others, no matter where they come from. We need a church with no walls, and hearts with no boundaries!

Ephesians 2:16-18
"Christ brought us together through his death on the cross. The cross got us to embrace, and that was the end of the hostility. Christ came and preached peace to you outsiders and peace to us insiders. He treated us as equals, and so made us equals. Through him we both share the same Spirit and have equal access to the Father."


About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

In Terry Sheldon Tags Unity, Duality, Common Ground, Connection, Cooperation
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Unity | (Practically) Loving One Another

Terry Sheldon February 25, 2022

Humanity is navigating an era of uncertainty, distrust, and dissension. We've seen so much tragedy and it's left us with a deep felt need for reconnection. The CitySalt blog team will take the next few months to examine where and how we might find opportunities to unite and commune, and in that, how we can heal.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8


Jesus commanded us to love one another. A perfect idea if there ever was one. But what about the HOW, in today's fractured world?

The concept of duality was quite vague as I started writing this. But as I investigated it more, something fascinating began to emerge (more on that later).

I just have to share.

I learned that duality is where two opposing parts are by nature, in conflict with each other. They represent two sides of a coin - often occupying unhealthy extremes. But duality also dictates that the two sides share many commonalities (common ground) as well. And because both sides represent a rich, full spectrum of ideas, experience and even motives, both sides end up needing each other - to even exist!

When it’s functioning well with honest debate and mutual respect, our political system is the perfect example of duality. I’ve joked that it’s why God invented both men and women (and democrats and republicans)!

But the hard part is working out disagreements.

If the process fails, then constructive work stalls. But when people identify each other's extremes and adopt a mindset of coexisting and duality, real change can happen. They have to "understand themselves and the complexities of life", as many have pointed out. Each has to know and appreciate the other's back stories that led them to their point-of-views.

Goodbye cynicism, enter empathy.

I've long believed that because of our tendency towards emotional biases, triggered from past experiences, with most issues the best solutions (and the best workable truth) frequently lies somewhere between the extremes. None of us has enough in the tank to see it all and know it all.

An emerging, and important distinction:

Disagreement is emotionally taxing, but maybe we have a simplistic idea that in order to love, we have to always agree. Or be best friends. But actually I don't think we do. In my profession some of my best workmates have been people very different from me. But we learned to appreciate the passion and skills we both brought to the table. There was mutual respect.

The tension we instinctively feel with hard relationships certainly happens because of our differences. But we need to realize that deep down, we all need and want the same basic things. And it all starts with personal and mutual acceptance, which provides emotional safety. When we can move in parallel towards a shared solution, we actually grow closer. Could real, authentic love happen in this space? Sure, why not?

A final thought: In our current Christian/political climate, duality thinking might be construed by some as "watering down the truth" and "fraternizing with the enemy". First, I would never, ever want to accept a dangerous essential lie. God calls us to earnestly search for him and ultimate truth.

Secondly, I absolutely believe it's our Jesus-appointed task to sup with the sinners (because honestly, we're sinners too). Truth is, none of us believers can really influence anyone for good without first gaining a relationship with them.

Micah 6:8 | MSG
“But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love. And don’t take yourself too seriously—take God seriously.”

Luke 6:38 | MSG
“Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”


About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

In Terry Sheldon Tags Unity, love, Mutual Respect, Acceptence, Duality, Tension
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