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Resilient | Walking with Resilience

Terry Sheldon April 9, 2021

Today we bring to you a new blog theme, Resilient. The word "resilient" has Latin roots and means "capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture." Many of us are feeling weary and broken after a long year of pandemic life full of social isolation, job losses, school closures, sickness and mental health issues. Resilience can help us forge a path to healing and recovery. Our blog team offers their ideas for how we can build resilience through our faith journeys.


We all like the idea of resiliency because, well, it's a good character trait, right? I get the feeling that resilience is not celebrated enough in our society, like it's the Rodney Dangerfield of suffering. Ok maybe it gets some respect for a while, but the longer we merely endure and not conquer our issues, we can succumb to an inevitable "loser stigma,” at least in our own minds.

We Americans are taught to fight and win. Is it at best, a hollow victory to merely bend, but not break? To be on the ropes for a while makes for good social theatre, or a Rocky movie, but the true star fights hard and avoids the death blow, then erupts in a sudden and dramatic turnaround victory. Yeah and pass the popcorn!

But this is real life.

And too often that life feels like a protracted foxhole struggle, with what seems like victory not assured. It can last and last ... and last. It can wear us down. And a resolution is likely not in our preferred way, or in our convenient time. Resilience can be birthed in trouble, but let's dig deeper.

Trauma hurts, but we don't have to wallow in suffering. We all know hard times can develop deep character traits, but only if we go through it with our head up and heart open. Entertaining its emotional depths without some perspective and ultimately, a positive response, is a very dark path to walk.

We all need some help.

Recently within my own journey, I've begun to notice someone. I look back and he is there, wanting to catch up. I am hurting, and I slow down. We share a smile and keep walking. He offers a few words and a smile, and I realize I might like his company. We small-talk a bit, then are quiet. I gaze up at the sunlight streaming through the forest canopy above. I breathe and give myself permission to feel. He feels like a friend.

He randomly brings up elasticity. I am curious why. He says he is kind of stubborn at times, with a clench-fisted toughness. He says this has seemed like a good way to be resilient, but flexibility is a better way. I joke that it's why cats have nine lives. My new friend laughs, and of course I am pleased at that.

He continues: Like a rubber band, we stretch out as we are pulled in different directions by forces beyond our control. But with elasticity, we return to our relaxed center - back to our core. I tell him I like the kind of "naturally, creative longevity" of that.

So now we're on the topic of resiliency, I guess. I mention a boat on the water. When it's calm, I say, it can be the picture of perfect serenity, but when a storm blows in - everything changes. Resiliency is our boat. It's built to bob and heave in the swells and waves. Our buoyancy allows us to stay above the tempest and not capsize!

I didn't plan on such a discussion with a stranger, but now we're getting somewhere.

I feel a twinge of pain in my lower leg and mention I'm trying to get it back to the way it used to be. He compliments me: But you're still hiking - that's great and recovery is coming! I tell him I hope so.

As we walk and talk, I realize that the cliche about it not being the destination, but the journey - is incomplete. Both are important. I thank him for walking with me and tell him I think we should all resolve to live, and even thrive, in our own resiliency. The tough lessons of the journey will make the destination that much sweeter, right? I look over but "Mr. Resiliency" has vanished. And I realize why. Someone else needs his friendship.

I love how Jesus shows up.

Resiliency is the long footbridge from despair to hope. Let's discover elasticity, buoyancy and recover. Grab a friend and walk.

Romans 5:4
"And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."


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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

In Terry Sheldon Tags Resilient, Character, Flexibility, Recovery, Elasticity
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Beauty from Suffering | The Value in Suffering

Terry Sheldon March 15, 2019

Suffering. It's an ageless and perplexing subject because it’s personally so difficult to endure and also so hard when someone close to us is laboring under its heavy weight. We can (and should) empathize with our sufferers even as we feel helpless. We can’t fix it for them, but that’s not really our job.

Suffering is pain stretched out over time - “long-suffering” is a common biblical theme. No one wants to suffer, and few of us would want it for anyone else, even perhaps someone who's wronged us horrifically. Beyond suggesting a Suffering Survival Guide here, the question should be posed - is there any real value in suffering? I think there is.

All of this takes on larger meaning when we remember that Jesus paved the way in our suffering, both as an example of how to respond the right way (acknowledging the Father), but also as emotional support from someone who's been there. His suffering linked heaven to our humanity and if we really think about it, he had the most to lose. His earthly life, yes, but certainly his heavenly dignity. God-becomes-man-becomes-tortured - what a massive fall.

So there's value in Christ's example. But what about the more practical? One of the most common human traits of an immature soul is pride and shallowness of character. We think things are going well. We attribute it to our smarts, our hard work, or any other number of things tied to our great efforts. Then the wheels fall off. We experience pain and loss. Our brokenness crashes down with our poor choices, the words and actions of others around us, or perhaps we don't really know why.

When we respond correctly, suffering “keeps us honest”, as they say. It adds depth of character to our shallow soul. And an added bonus - it fosters true compassion for others. More depth of character as we remember to gaze outwards, even as it hurts so much. Because others are hurting too.

As I write this, I am in some personal turmoil. It’s common life-stuff but as suffering typically goes, it feels worse than it probably is. So this blog post is fresh and sincere. Here is what I am learning in real time (ME, are you listening?):

  1. Don’t suffer alone, and on the other side, don’t ignore the sufferer! Yes, we all live “out west” but we’re not cowboys on some far lonely outpost. We NEED each other. We really do, as both a giver and receiver of compassion. Isolation is one of the enemy’s harshest and most powerful tools. It leads to wrong assumptions and beliefs, and wild exaggerations. And it’s horribly lonely. We need to reach out, and that includes professional or pastoral care.

  2. Pain focuses us, and locks us in. Sometimes I feel God uses it to get our attention, and keep it for awhile while he speaks and we learn.

  3. We can ask God why, but we shouldn't get stuck on the why. He wants to interact with us, and answers will be revealed as we walk with him, and keep walking. Don't stop and get stuck. If we fall, get back up.

  4. Gain perspective and identify the gains. Perspective is one of suffering's great rewards.

  5. We need to give the sufferer space but be sensitive and “nearby”, observing, praying, and ready to connect. Don’t worry about not having words. Smiles and hugs are essential too.

Romans 8:18
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.


Terry_Devo.png

About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.

In Terry Sheldon Tags Beauty from Suffering, Christ’s Example, Value, Character
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