Emotional Well-Being | Moments of Happiness

What an uncertain and unprecedented time we currently live in! When it comes to fighting against the disorienting sense of limbo that can come with a pandemic quarantine, I could talk about the importance of structure in our days, and a routine set of self-care goals. But my thoughts are now turned to the theme of dwelling in God’s love and absorbing the assurance and contentment we can experience in His presence, no matter the circumstances.

Psalm 103:8 NLT
“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.”

Before the arrival of Covid-19, I read the biography of a British actress whose work I admire. I had no idea that she was widowed when she was thirty-nine with two sons under the age of nine. And she was five months pregnant with their third son, when her surgeon husband died suddenly of a heart attack at age forty-three. In an interview after her husband’s death, she said “Now I’m the sole breadwinner. I have to try and work non-stop, to make things work.” In that context she also said “I think the difference between finding happiness, or moments of happiness, is how you choose to interpret things. That’s a rather shocking responsibility: that we’re responsible for our own happiness. It’s not those around us.”

2 Corinthians 4:16 NLT
“That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.”

Moments of happiness. I inhaled at the sudden sense of freedom I felt from that thought! This concept helps me accept temporary happiness as something to look forward to. I freed myself from the subconscious pressure of working at achieving happiness as a full-time occupation. I try to focus on recognizing moments of happiness sooner, and to savor them more fully. I prefer to see happiness and contentment as a beautiful monarch butterfly that occasionally lands on my shoulder.

James 1:17 NLT
“Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.”

In times of self-review, I discovered I spent too much time in a subconscious guilt from what I perceived as me falling short of standard adult life goals. I examined which missed expectations were causing all this low-grade guilt, and I almost laughed out loud. My self-expectations were unreasonable, no longer valid, and were certainly not from God. Once I stopped feeling that guilt, I felt so relieved. This helped me slip off the straps of a very heavy backpack from my mental shoulders. I let go of the subconscious practice of trying to earn contentment, and embraced the idea that contentment is a state of being that I choose.

A sense of peace is my new normal and is a much more enjoyable way to spend my time. I realized that feeling happy and content, and feeling emotionally safe and secure, is what I become when I am in the presence of God’s love. His love heals me as I experience His assuring presence. I can let go of all guilt when I feel frustrated and anxious. Feeling discontent or even just “blah” is not a condemnation for having missed the mark. It’s a sign I need to enter God’s presence and receive His healing love.

Romans 8:6 NLT
“So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”

During a recent time of prayer and worship I saw a mental image of a hallway with an inviting golden light at the far end. It reminded me of childhood bedtimes when I couldn’t fall asleep right away. Sometimes I would tiptoe down the hallway toward the living room, and sit against the wall, just out of my parents’ sight line.

I would sit there and see the warm living room light just around the corner and enjoy hearing the hum of my parents’ conversation. I wasn’t close enough to hear what they said. I didn’t need to. I simply wanted their company and it comforted me to be near them. Soon I was sleepy enough to slip back into my bed and fall asleep.

During this same prayer time, I was surprised to internally hear God’s still small voice say “Enter the room!” I understood this invitation and immediately jumped at the opportunity to be in God’s presence. I imagined myself finally turning the corner and entering the room where I wanted to be, in the company of His infinite love. I felt it all around me, warm and comforting on my skin like a warm bath. I sensed God say “You don’t ever have to leave.”

I understood this to be a reminder that I’m never without His love, which accompanies me everywhere. His love never fails and it never ends. As I enjoyed God’s presence, I noticed the walls of this imaginary room faded away and a large open meadow came into my internal sight. I then heard God say “Stay in my love forever.” I’m so very thankful for this Holy Spirit reminder of how rich and secure I am in God’s unconditional love.

In what areas of your life would you like to experience a greater sense of peace and God’s healing love? Walk into God’s living room. He’s waiting for you there.

Psalm 103:12-14 NLT
“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.

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About the Author

Sara has attended CitySalt Church since 2004, the year it was founded. She studied Journalism, wrote for her college newspaper, and is a member of Oregon Christian Writers. Sara also enjoys singing hymns with friends: “there is a sermon in every hymn waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.”

Emotional Well-Being | Iron Sharpens Iron

At the start of this pandemic, there were several memes that came across my Facebook feed about the introverts relaxing and enjoying themselves at home while the poor extroverts ran around the house going mad and lamenting the loss of their freedom to see their friends and coworkers. I chuckled at them, shaking my head. I worried about my wife but I wasn't all that concerned for myself. But as time has gone on and my office has extended their work at home timeline (now out to December 31st!) I started to realize something.

I miss people.

For some of you who know me well, such as my wife, this statement might be a bit of a shock. I am known to be comfortable staying at home, puttering away the hours reading or playing games or writing, relaxing or watching tv. I am pretty comfortable with my own company, you might say. That is not to say that I don't enjoy the company of others, but I don’t need it.

Or do I?

This realization was probably slower to dawn on me, like the proverbial frog in the slowly heating frying pan, thanks to my introverted nature. I, like the frog, start to experience gradual damage over time with the exposure to solitude and my own internal voices and fears.

Thank God that I have a live-in companion in my lovely wife. She helps me realize these dark tides and helps fight them, but it would be horrible to expect her to take care of these alone. Even with prayer and Jesus' presence, I still needed something more.

So I tried some things: meditation, some online writing events, trying to FaceTime my parents. But then, I heard my gym was going to open up and I thought that would be something helpful. My friend is a coach there, who I hadn't seen since the isolation began, and physical exercise would also be a great help to my mental attitude.

But now I had to leave the house and go somewhere in the outside world. It was pretty scary, I must admit. I had anxiety about it and balked at first. But I finally recognized the protocols that they were proposing were good and they were trying to take care of their people. I decided to go. And it was good. I hate exercising, so it's great to be able to have encouragement and a place to do it. And it was good to see my friend and talk to him.

In fact, we also made plans to have coffee. Outside and safely, but still it was great to enjoy his company.

I do believe that God made us for community, but at times I struggle with the concept. But then He reminds me why it is good and by His design.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

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About the Author

Mark lives in Oregon with his lovely wife, Darla and enjoys reading, writing, playing games and working to make the world a better place. He currently serves CitySalt church as a sound engineer and on the church council.

Emotional Well-Being | Peace Found in Perspective

We were winding our way up and over the mountain and back down to the west side of the island, which we are currently calling home. My husband and I were engaging in a gratitude conversation, sharing how blessed we feel. Life could have easily taken a different turn at many points in our journeys, both together and as we were growing up. Why were we spared from a more tragic experience? Why did God guide us and bless us? Who are we to be so fortunate, with so much suffering in this world?

One answer is that we will never know and our goal is to follow God’s guidance so that He can use our journey in intentional ways that we may never understand.

Another answer is perspective. I’m sure there are many out there that would not look at our journey as incredibly fortunate. While you can’t deny the great privilege we have with access to clean water, loving friends and family and so much opportunity, we have had our fair share of struggle.

As we made our way back to a comfortable home where our three healthy and incredibly capable children waited, I realized my perspective could be different.

Now I was pondering this; why am I so blessed to be able to feel blessed in moments of struggle? Even through seasons of sadness, stress, frustration and desperation, somehow we continue to feel so incredibly blessed.

I know that depression has visited so many different walks of life and the specific situation we are in doesn’t always dictate how we feel about ourselves, our current state and the world around us. Sometimes when light is shining right on us, we feel darkness. Sometimes when friends are reaching out, we feel alone.

So all I can really share, in hopes that it will help those struggling emotionally, is what has helped me: Being grounded in faith, surrender and gratitude.

• Stay grounded in the Lord through prayer

• Surrender yourself, your world, your relationships and especially worldly things

• Rejoice that God has a plan and each step has a purpose

• Serve others and pray for them

• Take action - small and easy steps forward build momentum

• Find things to be grateful for - simple and small can build momentum here as well

“I continue to be grateful and always aware that I am in charge of my faith and my perspective,
but not my life.”

In today’s “you can have it all” culture, this belief may not be popular, but I believe in putting God’s plan before any worldly desires. In fact, I aim to cut out worldly desires and let go of dependency on my own dreams to embrace the journey set in front of me. This has filled me with gratitude and joy, even through hard times. Be careful not to just pretend, but to really dig deep and decide what desires can be released and what to pull into focus. In Ephesians chapter 4, starting at verse 17, Paul “insists” we no longer live as Gentiles “darkened in understanding and separated from the life of God” (Ephesians 4:18). Our hope and joy and gratitude comes from our connection to our God.

Ephesians 4:21-24
“Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in the true righteousness and holiness”

This isn’t at all to say we are sad because we’re not living for God. Rather, through sadness we can remain or at least regain our sense of gratitude and joy through a shift “in the attitude of your minds” and rejoice in the truth that we were “created to be like God in the true righteousness and holiness” and that God is in control of the this beautiful creation around us. I surrender my own worldly desires to an all powerful and loving God who created the incredible life that surrounds us, for which I am so grateful.

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About the Author

Leona is a wife, mother and traveler who is intrigued by how different people live. Her latest project is exploring ways that different walks of life can simplify, in order to live a fulfilling journey.

Emotional Well-Being | Jesus’ Emotional Health

When our kids were very young but old enough to go to Sunday School, a fellow parent shared that they had taught their child that if he was ever asked a question, any question, by his teacher during a Sunday School lesson, to just shout out “Jesus!” and his answer would most often hit the bullseye. We laughed about that together and in thinking back, there is some profound truth in that! It seems Jesus really can be found as some kind of answer to most any question.

In thinking about the topic of “Emotional Health” for this devotional series, I wanted to go back and look at how Jesus experienced and expressed emotions in Scripture, thinking there should be some good clues for how we should also deal with our emotions. Below are some thoughts.

As recorded in “Psychology Today”, most psychologists would agree there are six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust and surprise. There are many variations and nuances within each of those emotions, but those are the six category headings.

I found Jesus experiencing each of these six emotions in the Gospels, though usually the name for the emotion was not explicitly mentioned.

In John 2, Jesus seemed like he must have been happy at the wedding feast in Cana by 1) turning the ceremonial water for washing into delicious wine for drinking to keep the wedding party going, and 2) he may well have been joking with and teasing his mother when she told Jesus, “They have no more wine.” He replies, “Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come.” Then Mary turns and tells the servants to do whatever Jesus tells them to do, apparently knowing Jesus was just teasing her and would truly do something about the wine problem! This possible interpretation was first mentioned by Randi in a sermon awhile back. We don’t know for sure what this exchange was about, but I like this possible explanation because it’s a rare example of Jesus’ levity and playfulness, which would be fitting for him to have had.

Jesus expressed his sadness in John 11:35. At the death of his friend Lazarus. Lazarus’ sister, Mary, came to Jesus weeping, together with many others, and Jesus too was filled with emotion. The shortest verse in the Bible is this: Jesus wept.

In Matthew 26:38-39 Jesus is in Gethsemane with his disciples, he is praying to His Father, because he knows what is about to happen. The Scripture says, “He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.’” Jesus had just said that his soul was overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. I think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t just sorrow but also fear that he was experiencing, since he had asked his disciples to keep watch like bodyguards while he prayed.

The well-known temple scene in Matthew 21:12-13 is when Jesus enters and overturns the tables of the money changers and proclaims, “It is written, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers!’” He is angry that these people are making profit in a sacred space meant to be consecrated for the meeting between God and His people.

Jesus is disgusted at the hypocrisy of the Pharisees when he calls out the “seven woes” in Matthew 23. No other group of people were called out by Jesus for their duplicity like these religious leaders, who paraded around arrogantly as if they were holy, put difficult requirements on the common people, and yet did not even fulfill these requirements themselves.

The last basic emotion is surprise. Jesus expresses surprise in Matthew 8:10 when talking with the Roman centurion, who has asked Jesus to come heal his paralyzed servant. Jesus agrees to go, but the centurion discloses his faith when he tells Jesus he doesn’t need to go anywhere to heal. He can do it right where he is by just saying the word. When Jesus heard this, “he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith!”

So, what can we take away from looking at Jesus’ emotions and how he expressed them? One thing is certain: he didn’t stoically try to hide them or suppress them. Since we believe Jesus never sinned, we can then also say it is not a sin to feel emotions.

Many of us grow up with the idea that some emotions are good and some are bad. We often try to ignore, minimize or deny the ones we think are unacceptable. But doing this usually leads to all kinds of problems, and sometimes physical ailments. We have been created with emotions and they serve a good purpose. They lift us, they lower us, they warn us, they connect us to others, they prepare our bodies to physically respond to a stimulus that could save our lives. They set in motion a chain of chemical reactions that can energize us or calm us.

I’ve heard it taught that it’s not the emotions that are bad, but our expression of them could be. Anger is a good example: anger can give us the energy we need to right a wrong. But it can also destroy if it goes unchecked and dominates without the good boundaries of reason and empathy.

It seems wise to learn to understand why we feel the way we do. This way we can know ourselves better and manage our reactions to people and events. Our emotions aren’t in control, but they also aren’t denied.

And one thing I’ve learned is not to fear emotions. This is how the Lord helped me see this. I had a dream one time that I was a big iceberg right off the beach at Bandon. My family was playing on the beach along with many other people. All of a sudden, me, the iceberg, started to melt and I was terrified that the tsunami-type waters resulting from my meltdown would flood the beach and kill my family. Well, the melting waters barely added much of a ripple and everyone was fine and continued playing! Because of what I was going through at the time, this dream was easy to interpret. My frozen emotions were coming alive and I needn’t worry that they would harm anybody. They weren’t dangerous.

The take-away for me is to let our emotions do their work in us within the boundaries of our God-given reason. Maybe this is part of loving God with all our heart, soul and strength and loving ourselves and loving our neighbors at the same time.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

Philippians 2:6-7
Though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Matthew 22:37-40
Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

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About the Author

John has been an essential component to the life and development of CitySalt since 2004 and, presently, serves as an associate pastor with a focus on prayer, discipleship and spiritual direction in addition to being a regular part of the teaching team. He enjoys the outdoors, water sports, music, reading and especially spending time with his wonderful family and chocolate lab, Gunnar.

Emotional Well-Being | Behave in a Way You Can Be Proud Of

“Behave in a way you can be proud of,” is a phrase that’s been running through my mind off and on since March. In some moments I am successful and in many, I am not. But still, this phrase encourages me to keep trying.

Yesterday a work phone call began with the customary “How are you?” I responded with a neutral, “I’m okay.” This prompted my co-worker, who I’ve never met in person, to express concern and ask if there was anything she could do to help. I appreciated her tenderness, but at the same time, I wonder if it’s time to just stop asking people how they’re doing if the only answer we’re willing to accept is a cheerful “I’m good.”

Usually I do give the customary answer. But to be honest, at this point in the pandemic, “I’m good,” would be a dishonest response from me. Even “I’m okay” may be a stretch. And considering the pandemic, it probably shouldn’t require an explanation.

But, here’s a more accurate answer. I have been quarantined at home with my very energetic children for three months. I have been working from my home part-time, while homeschooling my extremely oppositional 8-year-old and also caring for my 5-year-old son. Each day is exhausting and emotionally draining, and often involves breaking up a number of physical fights between kids, being screamed at for setting limits on screen time, and locking myself in time out so I can practice deep breathing.

Those are the personal struggles I’m dealing with on a daily basis. Additionally, I’m feeling the collective anxiety and grief of our nation as we face crises on several fronts — public health, economic, and political.

I think we need to be sober and honest with ourselves in this moment. For many of us, these are dark, dark times. Yes, the COVID pandemic will end, perhaps as soon as next year when a vaccine arrives. But we should not minimize the lives that have been lost and will be lost before this is over. And this other pandemic we are now reckoning with, the pandemic of racism, is also far from over, and has also taken many lives. The African American poet Clint Smith speaks to this moment succinctly in his poem “When people say, ‘We have made it through worse before:’”

Sometimes the moral arc of the universe does not bend in a direction that will comfort us. Sometimes it bends in ways that we don’t expect & there are people who fall off in the process...I have grown weary of telling myself lies that I might one day begin to believe. We are not all left standing after the war has ended.

Reckoning with racism forces many white Americans to face an internal ugliness that we would prefer to pretend has never existed. Acknowledging the prevalence of racism in our nation’s past and present, and being willing to look into our own hearts to confront racism that may exist inside of us is a painful ask. It’s a lot to reckon with, in addition to the grief and uncertainty we are facing right now with COVID. We would prefer to keep racism packed away neatly in a dark corner of our unconscious, because it makes us uncomfortable, so we never ever talk about it.

Black people and their allies have brought racism to the forefront of our national conversation lately, out of necessity. Because racism is a life and death issue for them, as we’ve seen in the many murders of unarmed black people by police officers.

For me, being quarantined has felt a bit like being on a really long airplane ride, and now it feels as though the airplane itself might be crashing. COVID is not done with us yet, and neither are our national struggles with racism. How will we make it through to the other side? And do I even trust the pilot?

I had a good conversation with my friend Britni the other day about self-care and she reminded me why it’s so important — you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. You’re not much good to those around you in the plane crash if you’ve passed out from lack of oxygen.

So, even though the people around me need a lot of help — my sweet children who just want to go to school and see their friends, the low-income families I work with who have preschoolers with disabilities — I can’t effectively support any of them if I don’t take care of my own emotional wellbeing. Even though I may want to dive into anti-racist work and contribute to efforts of racial reconciliation, I also cannot do this effectively if I don’t stay grounded in my own self-care.

These are some strategies I’ve been using to nurture my emotional wellbeing. This time is still a huge challenge for me personally, but these strategies are helping me cope:

• Exercise. Running, yoga, and walking have been helping me through this season. Did you know that running can be as effective as anti-depressants in treating mild to moderate depression?

• Gratitude journaling. I try to write down things I’m thankful for in my gratitude journal before I go to bed. This helps train my mind to focus on positives.

• Spend time reading Scripture. Scripture is one important way that God can speak to us and bring us comfort and guidance. One verse that has helped me through challenging times is Isaiah 43, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” This verse reminds me that God has a purpose for me and will guide me through whatever challenges may come.

• Mindful breathing and contemplative prayer. This is a practice I’ve been trying to adopt recently. I’m struggling with consistency, but this is an area of growth for me. Even when my mind is unable to stay focused enough for contemplative prayer, I benefit from a few minutes of stillness and deep breathing.

• Talking about emotions. In May I read the book Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, which is all about emotional regulation. One thing I learned is that just being able to label and express our emotions helps us to stay emotionally regulated. Writing can also serve this purpose.

• Practicing kindness. Finally, once I’ve put on my own oxygen tank with these other practices, I can practice kindness toward others (which also in turn makes me feel good). Practicing kindness can look as simple as feeding my children or doing chores around the house, but I’m also thankful that helping others is part of my paid work. During this pandemic, I’ve had the opportunity to coordinate delivery of necessities like food, clothing, and diapers to some of the families I work with. Jesus calls us to “love your neighbor as yourself,” and practicing kindness brings us one step closer to this commandment. Aligning ourselves with God’s commandments is an integral component of emotional wellbeing.

How are you nurturing your own emotional wellbeing during this time? My hope for each of us is that by taking time in this season to do some hard internal work, we can emerge transformed and will be able to look back on this season knowing that we did our best to behave in a way that we can be proud of.

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About the Author

Ursula and her husband Spencer have two young children, and their family enjoys playing hide-and-seek and dancing in the living room. She works as a communications and events coordinator with the University of Oregon.

You can read more from Ursula at motherbearblog.com.

Emotional Well-Being | Independence Day

I have been dreading this day. I feel heavy and concerned for my family, for others.

The 4th of July - a day when Americans celebrate - independence. Under normal circumstances we get together and throw a party, have a barbecue, watch fireworks. But we are also in the middle of a pandemic. People are tired of being apart. Rebelling, even angry. More people will “break the rules” today. More people will get sick, disease will spread, using our own desire to be close, our desire to be together, to be one, to reflect the Image of God, against us.

I am sad. I am anxious. I feel defeated.

Suddenly the Holy Spirit shows me a different perspective. A different way to see this.

This pandemic has revealed a beautiful fact. In all our brokenness, in all the chaos, in everything that has been twisted, God has preserved His Image in humanity. Not just in the Church, but in all humanity!

In all the time sin has been in the world, it has not been able to destroy the Image of God that is in us all - our desire to be One. To be in relationship.

It has taken a beating since the Garden. It is no longer untarnished and pure, but it is still there. Still strong, even defiant against what the enemy would throw at it. It is strong even in those who do not acknowledge it as God’s Image.

God is greater. In humanity we see that the Image of God is not defeated. We desire oneness and relationship!

Not that I think we should abandon wisdom and be together at all costs. On the contrary, it is my opinion that we are called to wisdom. I believe we need to face this situation as the foe that it is and work together to defeat it. We can assess our vulnerabilities and use our strengths. Those strengths may include patience, self-control, perhaps self-denial for a time. I see those characteristics in Jesus in His time on this planet. The unified goal being to see the enemy defeated once again!

This revelation for me is not about influencing behavior or personal choices during this time. I have my opinions, but it is too big a task for me to tackle what is right for everyone. I am not the judge.

My joy and my hope is in the fact that the Image of God is still alive and well in the human race! Bruised, imperfect, dented, cracked, but alive and well!! Thanks be to God! He is the Victor!

Ok now I sound a bit Christian-ese. Forgive me. I am excited. There is hope for us. God is good. His image prevails in us! He can continue to build on that in us as a planet.

Lord, I pray that you will teach us during this time of forced separation, that seems wise to me for a time to embrace our desire for Oneness that is Your Image reflected in us. Use it into the future as we are able to come back together to bring us to greater unity as a church, city, state, nation and world. Lord, like Job, bless our latter days more than our beginning!

Genesis 1:27 NKJV
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

1 John 4:4 NKJV
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

John 16:32-33 NKJV
32 Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 17:20-23 NKJV
20 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. 22 And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: 23 I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.

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About the Author

Darla loves God and is the Media Communication Coordinator for CitySalt Church. She is a graphic designer and an entrepreneur. Always learning. Eternally grateful for her wonderful and supporting husband Mark and faithful friends who are are pillars of encouragement in all her endeavors.

Mark and Darla have no children but have the privilege of loving a gaggle of ever expanding nieces and nephews.

Emotional Well-Being | Putting it into Practice

“Jesus did not promise to change the circumstances around us. He promised great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things.” ~ Corrie ten Boom

That quote was in this week’s readings from an old daily devotional by one of my favorite heroes. How fitting for these times! Even if the state of this pandemic is better by the time this gets published, I’m sure the world’s circumstances will still be far from perfect. And even without pandemics, our lives are often difficult no matter how much we try to make them easier or drama-free.

I’ll be honest; I do ask Jesus to change this or that circumstance for me sometimes. I don’t think that’s wrong. He wants us to take our needs to Him. But we also need to trust Him to give us what we truly need, even when He doesn’t change our circumstances.

Philippians 4:6-7 RSV
“Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Living this out is not easy, though. Once we’ve prayed about something and done our best to trust Him with the outcome of it, how do we train our minds and hearts to recognize and feel this promised peace and joy? Especially during difficult trials, like the one the whole world is facing right now?

I think that can look different for different people. For me, it looks like doing exercises to train my eyes to see gifts that He’s given me that help me with whatever I’m going through at the time. And to take the time to deal with the hard things and negative emotions so they don’t fester and make me cynical or depressed. For me, I’m writing daily gratitudes in a 2020 planner that a friend designed, and writing about my concerns in a journal. But I’m also doing some lists in a notebook that are helping me to process things more visually.

If you’re willing, you can join me for one of these exercises. Grab a pen and piece of paper (or a spot in your journal or even your computer), and make an old-fashioned T-chart of some sort. I’ll make one here, too, and fill it in with some examples from my life. On the left side, title it something like “Concerns” or “Difficult Things.” On the right side, title it something like “Things I’m Thankful For” (or more accurately for me during this pandemic: “Things helping me stay somewhat sane!”). Then, try to fill it in with at least three things in each column. You don’t have to think of things for the right side that answer or counterbalance the left side, but you could.

Things Weighing Me Down Lately

1. Isolation

2. Loss of freedom to travel

3. Worrying about the world (including my friends and family): division, disease and deaths, the economy, etc. Confession: I have been guilty during this pandemic of compulsively needing to check world news on my phone before I go to bed and again when I wake up, just to make sure the world isn’t completely falling apart.

Things I’m So, So Thankful For Right Now

1. My cat, neighbors, and technology that keep me from feeling too alone

2. The freedom to go for walks in my neighborhood (and my county now), and the fact that the area I live in is chock full of woodsy trails

3. My guitar so I can practice playing worship songs, which helps me refocus on Who is almighty, all-powerful, and loves me (Oh, and this sounds trivial next to that, but I’m also grateful for free online guitar lessons)

Now take your lists and talk to God about them. Really talk to Him about them. Tell Him how you feel about the things weighing you down. He loves you and wants to hear it. Then thank Him for the ways He’s blessed you.

Admittedly, doing this once will probably not change your life. It may change your perspective a little. It may not (I speak from experience). But doing this regularly, whether on paper or even just in your mind as you go for a walk, can add up over time. My hope is that you (and I) will gradually experience more and more peace and joy in our daily lives as we turn our concerns and our gratitudes over to Him.

Philippians 4:6-7 RSV
“Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Please feel free to leave comments with what creative ways you are employing to keep your mind and heart healthy these days. I would love to hear them!

Post note: I wrote this post last night. Before I went to bed, I read a devastating story about the plight of a Rohingya refugee woman. This morning I woke up to see the news that protests about race issues are exploding in U.S. cities. I had to take my own advice and journal and pray and ask God to heal this world, and to guide me. I feel helpless as I sit in my cozy little apartment in a relatively safe city while around the world there is reason to fear. So I hold fast to the verses from Philippians. Thank you, Lord, for my safety. Please heal my country and world of the divides that are causing devastation. Guide me to any way that I can help.

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About the Author

Jessie is an educator, she currently teaches teens and has taught overseas. She is also a novice writer, with several books in various stages and a (long-neglected) blog about the journeys of women. She is very excited to be a part of the CitySalt blog team. She has been blessed by a few communities of Christian writers that have encouraged her dream. She lives with her trusty sidekick cat, Arwen in the foothills of South Eugene, where she can go hiking within minutes of the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

Emotional Well-Being | Good Grief (and The Art of Being Human)

We are taught to be our best. To succeed. To learn quickly, sidestep mistakes and achieve. And no matter what, we learn to put on a happy face in public. But when we struggle with deep emotional pain (and we all do), this inauthentic social dance becomes doubly hard with the isolation it brings. And there is always unreasonable pressure to fix brokenness quickly - and move on.

We are all human, as God created us - in HIS image, and sometimes I feel that in our attempts to be better people, and better Christians, we send and receive a message that our humanity is inherently dirty and an automatic source of shame. Our attitudes and actions can certainly be sinful, but are we inherently bad?

We all love to label, and “mental illness” (or the more vanilla--depression or grief), are tossed around to help us try to understand. But it can be viewed as personal failure. Stigmas are an unfortunate byproduct of our social and religious systems, and because of that, I fear most of us don't seek help.

Even in an environment of compassion, making space for someone suffering in our midst can be clumsy and awkward, like the classic - what do you say at the funeral? Sadly, too often that conversation is avoided all together.

Speaking of grief, I used to think of it as an emotional health subset of a subset, applying only to the death of a loved one. Now with my Mom’s recent passing, it seems a lot bigger. Maybe a starting point for real personal change, not just a result of loss. Grief carries with it a lot of extra baggage - guilt, fear, anger, a certain disorientation, and certainly sometimes resignation (depression). But is there any good in it? I believe there is!

I am realizing that my sadness and bouts with depression stem from grieving over something lost. I yearn for something to be returned to its rightful owner. Or it goes even deeper, and farther back in my life, to things promised by friends and family but not received. This has led to gaps in my human experience, a feeling of "have I missed something?”

So beyond our creation story, made in God's image, to our redemption - can we learn something about grief from the life of Jesus?

I find it fascinating that his ministry covered the last three years of his time on earth, but why did the Father bring him here for three decades prior? To simply be human? Since Jesus was God, did he need to be raised and trained as a human child? Did he really need a spiritual apprenticeship in the temple?

All food for thought, but I suspect it had something to do with him leading us not just by word, but by example. He started sharing and modeling to his Jewish culture, then his legacy branched outward to the world. But he wasn’t just a hired actor. He didn’t “put on a show.” God lived his own humanity!

(Whew!)

Yes, Jesus was the absolute ultimate paradox - both God and human, and he experienced and displayed all kinds of human emotions. But did he grieve? In the Garden of Gethsemane, and with his disciples sleeping, he was alone in the night's darkness with his emotions as he anticipated his suffering. In a surprising display of his humanness, he asked the Father for another choice.

And later, on the cross, he cried out in the ultimate agony--separation. Why did the Father leave him alone?

Maybe Jesus wants to show us it's good to grieve. Maybe it's just part of our road back.

Sin and our fall from grace robbed us of many things. Our typical reactions are a misguided substitute for what was lost. It seems our social expectations and shame have diminished us so much that we’ve almost lost the art of being human. We don't like pain, but pain alerts us that something isn't right - for our own good. It's an authentic reaction.

I am learning to view grieving as an organic and positive process, a slow unlocking mystery, to a new level of wholeness.

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About the Author

Terry is a man in constant motion to explore new horizons. He has a thirst for new places and faces, and a deep love for the natural world - with a weakness for waterfalls and sunsets. All of this venturing out helps to both ground and inspire him, because it opens him up to people, with their vast, collective array of experiences, outlooks and responses.

He finds all of this fascinating and sees that it has encouraged the growth of something crucial in his Christian development: empathy and compassion toward his brothers and sisters on this planet.