While watching TV I saw a commercial for ToysRUs with trolls and I suddenly saw in my memory an orange hair troll toy I was given when I was in 3rd grade. I had fallen off my bike (before the days of helmets) hit my head and spent 3 days in the hospital with total amnesia. My parents not only gave me the troll but a bouquet of carnations in a white poodle vase. When I remembered the troll, I suddenly smelled not only the flowers but the distinctive enamel paint of the vase. I don’t remember too many tender moments in my childhood, but this fragrance memory did bring back the picture of my mother sitting on my hospital bed and kissing my forehead.
The next morning I woke up with the realization that my mother’s kiss came during the 3 days of which I have no memory. As soon as I knew who I was in the hospital, there was no touching or tenderness: in fact, one of my neighbors told me how worried my parent had been and I was shocked. So this was not something I had forgotten, it wasn’t available to me before. Miraculously, it was given to me with a physical smell that penetrated the darkness and void of a severe concussion.
What an amazing and powerful God to restore things lost in total darkness. He has shown His power and His love by giving this memory to fill the void where I have no loving recall of childhood. My upbringing was not nurturing, especially when I was sick or injured, I am learning to accept support, concern and love from my church family. He is restoring my ability to receive and believe I am worthy of being a part of the Body, I feel this is a special gift to remind me He is in control of my past present and gives me hope to the future.
Ps 68:5-6, Jn 1:12, Rms 8:15,2 Cor 6:18