"Wrestling in Unbelief" by Daniel Blomberg

Have you ever wrestled in unbelief with the words you were hearing? Sure you have. I will never forget being told that my cousin, Janet Kay, was dead when I was 5 years old. I didn't want to believe it and couldn't accept it.

The same was true in 1999 when I got the phone call from the nursing home informing me that my mom had just died. I couldn't believe it! I had just left her bedside and gone home to grab a quick lunch. After all, the nurse assured me it would be OK to go grab some lunch, right?  On the drive over to the nursing home to see mom, the radio played “Amazing Grace.”  
And back in 2005, I couldn't believe or accept the doctor's words when he said, "You have Kidney cancer." But it was true, no matter how much I denied it. That word "cancer" is a word we all dread hearing. Immediately our minds fill with fear, anxiety, and denial.

That's kind of how I am feeling right now. I just met with a neurologist who told me: "I think you have had a stroke!"

He followed that by saying he wants me to have yet another MRI, to confirm his diagnosis. But based upon my symptoms, he is ordering physical therapy right away, and another MRI.

I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. I don't want to believe it or accept it. But the reality is, I can't move my left hand like I should be able to. It is weak and uncoordinated.

I guess I won't be painting the house anytime soon, if at all!

But, praise God, I am still here, and I can still walk and talk normally! What is that scripture verse, "Give thanks in all things."? Lord, thank you for sparing me. Thank you for today and the gift of life, for family, friends, and loved ones. You are worthy of our praise and our worship!